(Closed) my husband wants a gun. i'm not so sure.

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 32
Member
746 posts
Busy bee

OP, I don’t blame you whatsoever.  Klutzes unite!

We have a cattle dog/GSD mix who has a great deal of, let’s just say, control issues that come in handy when it comes to being a good guard dog…if someone got into our house we’d hear about before they got through the door/window completely.  Also, she’d most likely attack once she figured out this was not a friendly neighbor dropping over.  

I grew up in a house full of guns.  My dad was a state trooper back in the 70s and 80s and has probably 10-20 guns in the house.  There’s a handgun by his nightstand and countless shotguns in his gun cabinet in the basement.  He taught me to shoot skeet when I was a kid and I was quite scared – the only reason I usually came along was for the hot chocolate we had afterward!

Honestly it’s never been something I’ve questioned; the thought of one of them in my own house makes my stomach turn.  All I can think of is Darwinian selection when I think of owning one.  Also the fact that it’s, oh, I don’t know, an object expressly designed for killing.    

But then I’ve been called a pacifist and a dreamer, so what do I know.     😉

 

Post # 33
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@tksjewelry:  That article omits data too. Most obviously suicides.

Post # 34
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@paula1248:  of course it does, there is no empirical data collected on such things as just brandishing a weapon that stops a crime that doesn’t report it. When I brandished mine against an abusive ex, the police took no note of that in the report. The suicides, well, as we’ve all been told, someone who really wants to commit suicide will find a way to do so. The answer to that is in mental health care, which has been in a horrible state since the 80’s.

When it comes to domestic violence deaths, statistically it’s a 50/50 chance to be killed with a firearm vs another means. But what isn’t talked about in those stats is that’s it’s illegal to own a firearm in the US if you have been convicted of Domestic Violence. How many of those situations had previous occurrences? How many were there where previous charges had been dropped? How many had illegal firearms? Again, data not reported nor kept. 

Post # 35
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Don’t get one. If you get one it means that you’re willing to kill someone. Are you?

Post # 36
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@Stace126:  I second the advice that you take a class and try to become comfortable with the gun. I know it is terrifying at first, and FI’s larger guns still frighten me a little, but if you shoot it a few times, you’ll grow comfortable with it. And, if not, at least you tried!

Post # 37
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

As PP’s have said, It does not matter if a gun is loaded or unloaded. You should never ever leave a gun laying around the house! I have a fingerprint safe bolted to the underside of my bedframe with a loaded gun in it, and multiple other unloaded guns and rifles in a huge safe. You dont have to use it f your not comfortable with it, but when you really need a gun nothing else will do.

 

Post # 38
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you thought about just moving to a neigborhood where you feel closer to 100% safe? Can you and your neighbors campaign for more streetlights, neighborhood watch, calling the police more often if the bar gets out of hand?

Post # 39
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@tksjewelry:  I disagree: I’m not convinced my friend DID want to commit suicide. But there was a gun in the house… (This was a long time ago before Australia’s gun laws changed). The link
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@Atalanta:  gaves says the suicide “success” rate is over 90% with guns, less than 5% by other means.

Post # 40
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@paula1248:  actually, according to the cdc it’s 56%, and their numbers doesn’t account for suicides mis-attributed to accidental overdose, which is the fastest growing cause of death in the US. 

 

Sorry about your friend. 

Post # 41
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You know, there’s a lot of stuff in between ‘gun’ and ‘sitting duck,’ I mean, if all you are worried about is your protection while at home alone. For example:

Perimeter alarms

Training your dog to bark when someone comes by the house (and even a dog bowl out on the porch can be a deterrent)

Taking self-defense classes

Pepper spray

Motion-operated flood lights

Trimming back any shrubs/hedges that might offer someone a place to hide at night 

Rally your neighborhood to get more patrols going at night; put the local police station’s phone number into your cell phone/speed dial (tends to be faster to call them directly rather than 911)

…I mean, the likelihood that someone will break into your house while you are there is pretty darn small. Most criminals look for signs that a homeowner is NOT home before committing a robbery, so even just having your lights on can discourage a would-be burglar, who’d pass up a well-lit house and go for the one that’s dark and quiet. 

Lastly, we lived near a kind of sketchy bar in a rough neighborhood and never had a problem because most people who go to such bars are really looking for trouble THERE, as opposed to getting smashed and then going to rob someone else’s house. Have you checked the crime statistics for your area? They can be illuminating–you might find that even if your place has “high crime,” it might not be violent crime. OUr old neighborhood had a lot of incidents, but they were all things like theft from vehicle and stuff–nothing like home invasion. 

 

Post # 42
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

if you are scared of guns and don’t want one then having one is more likely to cause harm than help. I grew up around guns, have them in the house, but I do not think gun ownership is for everyone. get an alarm system or something!

Post # 43
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Stace126:  Well, while guns can obviously cause a LOT of problems, I think a lot of people are raised with the idea that guns = automatically scary and bad, and so it is a reflex to think that terrible things are going to happen if they are in the vicinity. It sounds like you fit into this category.

You already said you know that they can be handled safely and responsibly and long as you are careful, and yet you still feel that way. I feel like maybe this feeling is too ingrained in your brain at this point, and having it around will just make you stressed, not more secure feeling, so maybe it is better if you don’t get one.

If you want to give it any sort of go, maybe you could go to a reputable gun store with your husband, look at the guns, hold a couple of them (they are of course all totally empty there, don’t worry), and see if seeing them up close, touching them, etc., takes some of the mystery and reflexive fear of the idea of them out. If, instead, looking at them and holding them just makes you even more stressed, then you’ll know for sure you don’t want one! 

After all, if you are terrified of the gun, you’d never be able to competently use one in an emergency anyhow. It’d prolly get you in more trouble nervously fumbling around with it.

Post # 44
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If you’re not comfortable with a gun in the house, you shouldn’t have one there.  If you’re worried about your safety, how about a big dog or two?  It’s hard to beat big dogs for protecting a home – they’re an alarm system and defense system rolled into one.  Plus they become part of the family.

Post # 45
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

I’m anti gun.

Instead i have;

5 dogs (I feel very safe)

Sensor Lights

Perimeter Alarm

iphone app which sends an SMS to 2 people if i am in trouble with my GPS location

Grills on my doors/windows.

Post # 46
Member
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t feel comfortable about having a gun in the house either.

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