My husband wants a traditional household

posted 3 weeks ago in Family
Post # 61
1324 posts
Bumble bee

At first it sounded like you were down for the arrangement but based on the updates it sounds like you are not. Do youbwbat “traditional household” or do you want to both be equal financial/domestic providers?


Post # 62
2285 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

There is no way that I would agree to that nonsense. Your husband is being unrealistic. The only way I would agree to most household chores would be if my husband was paying for everything. I would still expect him to help with some things because he has 2 feet and is perfectly capable. Even if my husband is working crazy hours, he can still clean up after himself. What would he do if I wasn’t around? I’m certainly nobody’s maid. My grandparents had a traditional household, but my grandfather still took care of the cars, washed dishes, took out the trash, did repairs on the house, mowed the lawn, etc. 

Post # 63
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Post # 64
3 posts

starrynightsforever :  I don’t think your husband even knows what a traditional marriage is. You shouldn’t be working. Stay at home, Cook and clean but don’t give him money. How is working and giving Money traditional??

Post # 65
12528 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In a “traditional” marriage there would be no “my money and your money.” He’d work or you’d both work and still split up the household chores. Even if you keep separate finances you should know exactly where the money is and where it’s going. 

It sounds as if you can afford your life on your current combined salaries, but barely. And what about savings? It doesn’t sound like he can afford to send money to others on his income alone. What it amounts to is that you are the one subsizing his family. If they are really in such dire straits you are entitled to all the relevant info. The amount given should be discussed, agreed upon, and come from both of you. If you can’t afford it, it may have to stop or other options explored. 

Reading the NYE thread, it looks like you are both financially irresponsible. The kind of night you wanted him to pay for, hotels, clubs, etc, is for those who can afford it. You two really need to get on the same page if your marriage is going to work. He’s not the only issue. 

Post # 66
8 posts
  • Wedding: May 2020

As I understand you! My husband and I had exactly the same problems. He believed that a woman is a kitchen, cleaning and bedding. However, he did not give me money even for an ordinary hairdresser. I found fault with any details. If he finds dirt or dust somewhere, then in our house there was a great scandal. Can you imagine, he even bought me a special leather apron on  in which it was certainly convenient to do all the homework. Then I decided – I need to go to work. So now everything is in order with us. It can be seen because my husband realized that I could very well live without him. Maybe you should try to get to work?

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