(Closed) My Husband Wants Me to Get Rid of My Cat!

posted 5 years ago in Pets
Post # 76
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Whitetail Ridge

 

stardustintheeyes:  Definitely, they’re both at fault here. This is (most likely) something that can be fixed with a little work put in from her and a better attitude from the husband.

Post # 77
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

I really hate people who think they can just “get rid of” a pet because it no longer fits their lifestyle- pets are living beings! They’re family- these helpless creatures should not be thown away like old shoes! OMG. I read an article this morning about “Dead Dog Beach” in Puerto Rico where people just dump their “useless” dogs to die 🙁 don’t Google it, it’s sickening and absolutely heartbreaking.

I’ve taken in other people’s unwanted cats- one was especially difficult, hissing and peeing everywhere. I did really hate her for the months it took to re-train her, but I didn’t toss her away b/c I made a commitment to give her a good life. Animals are just like children, they deserve the love of a “forever home.”

If someone’s SO thinks they can just get rid of a pet- I’d really worry about how they’ll handle children lol children grow up to be way more difficult than a cat that throws up! What would the solution be for a child that constantly wets the bed or refuses to do chores? throw them out!!

Post # 78
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

yumcheez:  Agreed. If you aren’t prepared to make a lifetime commitment, don’t adopt a pet. Period.

 

OP, your hubby is being an ass.

Post # 79
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

If it really is an eating too fast issue, you can put your cats food on a plate and that will force her to eat one piece at a time, thus slowing her down. Also if you’re free feeding, stop. Feeding correct amounts at specific meal times will help with her weight and also keep her from over eating.

I agree with others though in that it could be an allergy. Corn is the number one developed allergy in cats because it is indigestable and is prevalent in a lot of foods as filler. My cat developed a corn allergy that resulted in him having runny diarrhea all over the house…lemme tell you that’s a million times worse than cleaning vomit. Switching him to a grain free, corn free dry food solved that problem almost immediately.

So short answer is try changing your cats food and feeding her differently. 

Post # 80
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

bbbria:  In the same breath, if you aren’t prepared to properly take care of the pet, don’t get one. the OP hasn’t done that. Taking proper care of a pet also means making sure they are happy and healthy and well adjusted. At least to the best of your ability. Which hasn’t happened. Committment for a lifetime is only part of it. I can commit to keep my dogs but that means nothing if I’m not going to ensure that they are happy and healthy. The husband has every right to be frustrated with the cat’s behavior given that the OP hasn’t done anything to change it. So really, she’s being just as much of an “ass” as he is.

Post # 81
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

bgu073:  this right here is exactly what i’m talking about. You are comparing someone who beats animals with someone who just doesn’t like obnoxious behavior from an animal. the fact that you even think this comparison is valid is insane. not liking dealing with hissing and cat vomit daily for four years is enough of a reason to walk away? if that same guy had told you that his ex wife really didn’t like having to constantly deal with cat vomit and being hissed at in his own home and that his wife refused to do anything about it would that still be the glaring character flaw? to some pet people, not liking their pets and all of their behavior (even the bad stuff) is somehow such a major offense that you compare it to beating animals? SERIOUSLY? one of those is punishible by jail time… that’s the comparison you’re making? 

my question was: if you leave your partner because they don’t want to deal with your badly behaved pet, how do you justify that to a potential partner who wants to settle down and create a “forever family” for the two of you? the cat is not “disposable” but the people are? What about the “forever family” for the husband who has loved and supported this woman for 4 years? 

 

yumcheez:  not liking bad pet behavior and wanting to re-home a pet to a family that is more capable of handling it (like yourself) somehow means you aren’t going to “handle children” well? The way i see it, if you have a problem with behavior (pet or child) and you leave it alone and tell anyone who doesn’t like it that they’re an asshole, then you’re a neglectful and spiteful parent. You can’t have it both ways. Some people don’t like pets. some people don’t like children. But honestly, the only people who love misbehaving pets or children are their owners/parents. Again, I whole-heartedly reject the notion that kids and pets are comparable because it’s insulting to the children, but if you’re going to use that analogy, you can’t just pick and choose the parts that are conveneint for you. 

Post # 82
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

also, if you google “what does cat hissing mean?” this is the first thing that comes up: http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/why-cats-hiss/

<br />”The hiss is a warning that says aggressionwill follow if you don’t back off. A cat who hisses is fearful but ready to engage in battle if necessary.” 

This guy is living with a cat that for four years has been behaving aggressively towards him. Would you like that cat? Would you be inclined to go play with it? It’s like a growling dog. Would you call him an ass or a monster or a jerk if he had a problem dealing with a dog that for FOUR years has been growling aggressively at him? JESUS. pets can do no wrong and people are the worst! if that’s how you feel, then great! live with as many pets as you want, but if the people you’ve created relationships with independent of your pets aren’t as gung ho as you, they’re allowed to ask you to make them a priority. if you won’t, thats on YOU alone, not your spouse. 

Post # 83
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

stardustintheeyes:  Sorry, I didn’t realize you lived in OP’s house.

Post # 84
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

To some people, animals ARE children so just because you don’t see it that way, doesn’t mean that you’re the only one with a valid opinion. I am currently happily childfree and may remain that way forever. I fully plan to fill my home with as many furbabies as I can without reaching creepy hoarder status. To those of you on this thread who see nothing wrong with throwing away the cat, please don’t ever get a pet. No animal deserves that kind of treatment. 

yumcheez:  I’m sure the child tax credit makes baby vomit totally worth it. lol

Post # 85
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

ilovebacon:  yes, because having children is all about the tax credit… to anyone who makes flippant comments about kids being about tax credits, please don’t ever have kids.

See how unfair that statement is? Just because you’re not willing to sacrifice your family for a pet with behavior problems doesn’t mean you can’t be a good pet owner. 

Post # 86
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

My friend’s then-boyfriend got all “it’s me or the horse” when she was finally in the position to buy her own. Out went the boyfriend. As she said, “I’ve wanted a husband since I was 22. I’ve wanted a horse since I was 2.” 

Adult humans aren’t “disposable” because it is impossible to dispose of a person. A human adult keeps existing and living a life as he/she sees fit whether or not a relationship survives. (The boyfriend in the above story was free to go find a horse-free partner, and everyone was happier) Pets usually do not survive when relationships are severed. They are helpless. And, yes, I feel that disposing of a pet is abusive.

Post # 87
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

bgu073:  no matter what? Even if it’s aggressive? even if someone in the family is severely allergic? even if you cannot afford to care for it anymore? even if you’re too old to care for it anymore? still, it’s abusive? perhaps you’re lucky enough to never have any of these problems, but there are PLENTY of valid reasons for giving up/rehoming/surrendering a pet. 

Post # 88
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

bbbria:  I don’t need to live in the house to come to the conclusions I have. it doesn’t take a genius to realize that if a cat is displaying the kind of behavior described, it’s neither happy or healthy. I would say if an owner has had this go on for 4 years (at least) and  hasn’t addressed it yet, that’s not a good pet owner. would you disagree with that or are you going to argue that leaving this to go on for as long as that is somehow acceptable?

Post # 89
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

ilovebacon:  how ironic is it that you are an animal lover and your username is “i love bacon”… 

I’m not trying to be a jerk lol It was just an observation.

No more thread jacking. :\

bgu073:  do you also feel that not addressing issues like vomiting constantly or hissing all the time is abusive? or is that the sign of a good owner?

Post # 90
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

 

cautiously3optimistic:  expect that as a human and equal partner in the marriage takes precendce over an animal. If my spouse/boyfriend chose to pick an animal over me, then I’d be glad to have dodged a bullet. <br /><br />Thank you. The whole husband/kid over pet argument is trite and exhausting on these boards. I have a healthy respect for pets but do not and will never equate them with people. Thank God my mate feels the same way. 

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