Post # 16
soontobebe : I am so sorry. I am particularly struck by his saying that he is not attracted to you anymore. Why say that? What is the value in an insult like that to somebody who has stood by your side for so many years, even if you have truly fallen out of love? He is either a terrible person, or doing everything he can to hurt you enough to make his decision permanent.
Please remember that these are the words of one person being spoken during a volitale and unstable time, and NOT the truth. Do not let them invoke insecurities.
I will pray for you. Stay strong. Resilience is learned.
Post # 17
slomotion : +1
make that two bees flipping your person the bird when you’re ready.
It will get so much better❤️- wait till you find somebody who genuinely appreciates you! The good part of your story hasn’t happened yet.
Post # 18
Sorry bee, that’s a tough pill to swallow hearing that he wants to end things. I would agree too to spend time with love ones. Time heals all wounds.
Post # 19
Thank you all so, so much. I have been feeling absolutely broken and helpless in this. I tried to text with my husband to see if he was willing to work things out, to consider the possibility. But he’s not. I spent the last 20 minutes of my lunch break locked in the bathroom, crying.
I couldn’t speak to anyone at work because I didn’t trust myself not to cry to them. It was such a trying and emotional day, but I made it through.
And then the funniest thing happened. A young man, a total stranger, introduced himself to me. He helped me onto the train and sat with me, getting to know me for 30 minutes before we got to his stop. He has the same exact name as my husband – not an extremely common one – which was unfortunate. But he really picked me up. It was so kind. He gave me his number and asked me out. I told him I would be happy to see him as a friend.
It may sound really sad, but I had convinced myself that if my husband didn’t want me, nobody would. My tears aren’t even dry from the whole ordeal and I was proven wrong. While I don’t have any interest right now, it was so lovely to be asked.
I’m so thankful to all of you for replying and supporting me. I read your messages while I cried in the bathroom. I will happily accept your offers of the bird. I must admit, I go back and forth between anger and sadness.
I don’t know if my husband will actually be there for me and be my friend, or if he will let me down. Either way, I can’t let this situation define my life or how I feel about myself. I’m going to fight. There will be more tears. But I will be okay. Xx
Post # 20
- Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park
You have so much worth to the world. My ex used to like to tell me that no one else would treat me as well as he did (while he was chronically cheating on me) and that if I left him someone else would just treat me worse and that I couldn’t do any better.
He was a damn liar and so is your husband when he says no one else will want you. This is a tactic that shitty men use to control you and keep you fearful and easy to manipulate. Don’t fall for it.