(Closed) My husband was invited to wedding…but not me!

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
30 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

send her a gift you bought at a garage sale…like a pair a pliers to remove the stick up her butt.


you’re a pair now ..you and your husband…if she doesn’t recongize that, then you have one less christmas card to send out next year. 🙂



Post # 63
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I love your DH’s response!!  SO CLASSIC!  “When you’re married, you’ll understand…” which basically said “shove it.”

I can understand spouses not being invited to a wedding.  Coworkers, or other people in your life who you know well but have never met their spouse.  As long as there will be a group there that that person can hang out with, I understand it.


It has to be an across the board rule!  She made up a rule, then made up an exception to that rule for the Girlfriend, then took it back, all in the same convo!  She’s a nitwit.  You should send back the RSVP marked in red Sharpie.  NO.  And don’t bother sending a card.  She sounds like the type of girl who would rip it up anyway.  Oh, and block her on FB.

Post # 64
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

simply decline it – not worth arguing with her over it. sad but true. i have a feeling no matter waht that she could care less about whatever you say to her, so dont give the satisfaction anymore. just decline.

Post # 65
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

What a weird situation. I understand the guest list pain and have had to tell several friends that no, they can’t bring their bf, gf, flavor of the month, but you CANNOT invite a married or engaged person without their SO. Not acceptable. It’s just how this stuff works. I’d decline and kudos to your DH – he sounds like a stand-up guy.

Post # 66
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can’t believe she would have invited a +1, but not a wife! I love that your husband said “when you’re married, you’ll understand”. I would decline, and hope that my fiance would decline if they were acting like that.

Post # 68
10 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

i’m all about a small wedding, but this borderline offensive.  you seem classy and reasonable.  decline!  i think a friendly card instead of a gift and keep your distance!  no need to rock the boat.

Post # 69
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I LOVE your husband’s response!  Fabulous.

Post # 70
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am all for small weddings and I understand what a small budget is like but never ever ever would I do that to someone! Thats just crazy ass rude.

Post # 71
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

it sounds like you’ve already made the right decision but I would definitely decline and then do nothing else.  She doesn’t seem worth the agony and engery!

Post # 72
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yep like everyone else we are having a small wedding and are on a budget, we aren’t having children there but we WILL be inviting married couples and anyone in a serious long term relationship. Some people just never put themselves in other peoples shoes. Glad your FH handled it so well and you too!!

Post # 73
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Sounds like she just still holds something against you! What a crazy. Yeah, she’ll get the picture one day, and be sad she lost a friend over it. What a shame for her.

Post # 75
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Wow. She’s a piece of work. I’d expect my husband to decline, even before I had heard about a friends new gf attending. Wow, wow, wow. Beyond rude.

Post # 76
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Unacceptable. Period.

She sounds incredibly selfish. As if all the wedding stuff has really gone to her heard and she truly believes that the world revolves around her…not just her day.

You have a great husband to stand by you. At least take comfort in the fact that you guys are a really strong unit!

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