Post # 62
send her a gift you bought at a garage sale…like a pair a pliers to remove the stick up her butt.
you’re a pair now ..you and your husband…if she doesn’t recongize that, then you have one less christmas card to send out next year. 🙂
Post # 63
I love your DH’s response!! SO CLASSIC! “When you’re married, you’ll understand…” which basically said “shove it.”
I can understand spouses not being invited to a wedding. Coworkers, or other people in your life who you know well but have never met their spouse. As long as there will be a group there that that person can hang out with, I understand it.
It has to be an across the board rule! She made up a rule, then made up an exception to that rule for the Girlfriend, then took it back, all in the same convo! She’s a nitwit. You should send back the RSVP marked in red Sharpie. NO. And don’t bother sending a card. She sounds like the type of girl who would rip it up anyway. Oh, and block her on FB.
Post # 64
simply decline it – not worth arguing with her over it. sad but true. i have a feeling no matter waht that she could care less about whatever you say to her, so dont give the satisfaction anymore. just decline.
Post # 65
What a weird situation. I understand the guest list pain and have had to tell several friends that no, they can’t bring their bf, gf, flavor of the month, but you CANNOT invite a married or engaged person without their SO. Not acceptable. It’s just how this stuff works. I’d decline and kudos to your DH – he sounds like a stand-up guy.
Post # 66
I can’t believe she would have invited a +1, but not a wife! I love that your husband said “when you’re married, you’ll understand”. I would decline, and hope that my fiance would decline if they were acting like that.
Post # 67
Thanks for the comments everyone! Yes, I really love my husband! Seriously, he has so much more composure and reasoning than I do. I don’t know what I would have done if he wasn’t so supportive. There’s a reason he talked to her and not me!
If I was someone this woman didn’t know at all, I’d understand…but I’ve know her for at least 7 years! I actually have known her longer than my husband (we’ve had a couple classes together before I started dating my husband and I had study sessions at her house!) We never hung out as buddies unless it was with my husband.
I admit, this woman always did strike me as the needy, possessive type. She, my husband and a few other people were in a tight-knit circle of friends in college. When one person in the circle started dating someone, she’d get jealous that they were spending less time with the group. She was like that with everyone! While we were dating, if my husband wanted to spend time with me rather than with the gang, she’d get upset. She always this hardcore feminist who had this weird aversion to coupledom and if you wanted to do something with your gf/bf you were being co-dependent and weak. (Not that all feminists are psycho like this chick!) You’d think after several years, she’s get over it!
I know the guest list is a touchy subject. I know there’s a lot of stress concerning budget especially nowadays. I know it’s her day, and guests shouldn’t impose their restrictions on the couple. But I really hope brides and grooms take a step back from all the craziness and really take into consideration their guests’ feelings. Try to put yourself in your guests’ shoes and try to think what you would do in their place. Yes, it’s your day and money is tight, but no need to skimp out on manners, consideration and friendship!
Post # 68
i’m all about a small wedding, but this borderline offensive. you seem classy and reasonable. decline! i think a friendly card instead of a gift and keep your distance! no need to rock the boat.
Post # 69
I LOVE your husband’s response! Fabulous.
Post # 70
I am all for small weddings and I understand what a small budget is like but never ever ever would I do that to someone! Thats just crazy ass rude.
Post # 71
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
it sounds like you’ve already made the right decision but I would definitely decline and then do nothing else. She doesn’t seem worth the agony and engery!
Post # 72
Yep like everyone else we are having a small wedding and are on a budget, we aren’t having children there but we WILL be inviting married couples and anyone in a serious long term relationship. Some people just never put themselves in other peoples shoes. Glad your FH handled it so well and you too!!
Post # 73
Sounds like she just still holds something against you! What a crazy. Yeah, she’ll get the picture one day, and be sad she lost a friend over it. What a shame for her.
Post # 74
One other thing…My husband at the moment is unemployed…so that means I would have contributed money to send him to Colorado to a wedding I’m not invited to! Not only that but her invitation said, “Monetary Gifts Preferred.” When my husband jokingly asked how much money is an appropriate gift, she bluntly said, “Well since you’re married it should be more than what one person can give.” Can you believe it? She’s counting us as one unit when it comes to gifts, but not when it comes to the guest list! The nerve!
Post # 75
Wow. She’s a piece of work. I’d expect my husband to decline, even before I had heard about a friends new gf attending. Wow, wow, wow. Beyond rude.
Post # 76
She sounds incredibly selfish. As if all the wedding stuff has really gone to her heard and she truly believes that the world revolves around her…not just her day.
You have a great husband to stand by you. At least take comfort in the fact that you guys are a really strong unit!