(Closed) My husband was invited to wedding…but not me!

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

WHAT?!? she put that on the invitation?!?!  gifts should not even be mentioned on an invitation let alone which gift is her FAVORITE!  then the nerve to say she wants it from the 2 of you?!  no gift for her now!  i agree w/mighty saphirre, she’s a nitwit.

Post # 78
1738 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

that is horrible!!! wow!!!  incredibly horrible… decline and forget about it… if it was me i wont send a gift and will ignored this wedding

Post # 79
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Lol I’m with writing F You on the RSVP. lol That made me Laugh Out Loud; Litterally!

Post # 80
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, just wow. I was reading your post trying to keep an open mind to her point of view, but I think its the way she went about this that makes the whole situation so apalling. My Fiance recently was best man in a destination wedding that had an incredibly small guest list…none of the Groomsmen were able to bring their SO’s (girlfriends, wives, and fiancees included). However, the couple was really classy about it and although it was a little frustrating, you could understand where they were coming from (they weren’t inviting some relatives, so who am I to demand an invite when I don’t even know the bride?)

My point is, there is a way to approach the situation of +1’s delicately and respectfully, and this chick just isn’t doing it. And putting “monetary gifts preferred” on the invitation? I mean, they might as well just ask people to send money. A little shameless, IMO.

Post # 81
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

A) I think this girl is rude and disrespectful

B) She also sounds somewhat of a bridezilla–dont really want to judge someone I don’t know but there is always an exception.

C) Your husband sounds so cool!  Very classy and I like that he has stuck up for both of you.


I would DECLINE.  Clearly she doesn’t care about him as much as he cares about their friendship, if she did, she would want his WIFE to come as well.  


PS: Did you guys invite her to YOUR wedding?

Post # 82
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

That is INSANELY rude. I think even small weddings with no plus ones still get plus spouses. Could she think there is some beef between you two that you don’t know about?

Post # 83
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

wow that is very rude! I am so sorry! Maybe she’s mad at you for something. Not saying that’s a good enough excuse. At least your husband stuck up for you!! 

Post # 84
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Holy crap. Very odd. I’ll be the 83rd person to say DECLINE and UN-FRIEND or put on restricted status on FB.  Your husband sounds like my Fiance 🙂  Good guys!

Post # 85
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow, did she have feelings for your hubby or something in the past?  She sounds pretty jealous and it’s very strange she doesn’t want you there.  I absolutely understand wanting to keep a guest list small by cutting out +1s, but when it comes to WIVES, you can’t do that!  Decline!!!!

Post # 86
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

wow! i agree with everyone else! rude! Decline!


also! what a great hubs to agree and stick up for you!

Post # 87
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

“Monetary gifts preferred” = RUDE sense of entitlement which will NOT serve her well!

“You should give enough for two” = Selfish selfish selfish NITWIT

(I wish I had better insults than Uncle Joe from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, but honestly, it fits!)

I would make a wall post on her FB saying “I know you asked for money from all your guests as a gift for your wedding, and I know you told my husband that we should give you ‘enough for two people’ since we’re married, however he is unemployed and I wasn’t invited to the wedding, so we felt that giving you nothing was better.  Is that ok?”

Even better, post it at 3am on a weekend so it’ll be up for a while before she notices it!

Post # 88
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What a ridiculous person! I agree to a DECLINE. Oh, and more kudos to your fabulous hubby, too!

Post # 89
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are you freaking serious? She really wanted enough for 2 people, when your husband is unemployed and she didn’t invite you? Wow. Um…I like MS’ reply. It made me lol! I’d so do it.


Post # 90
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What a rude classless…..BEEP! :p

Not only would I decline her invite but I would remove her from your friends list and have nothing more to do with her.

Post # 91
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Mrs. Pixie Dust, I think you and your husband are completely in the right and are handling the whole thing very well. C would have to handle this one, too, if it were us. 😉

And wow. Putting “monetary gifts preferred” on the INVITATION? That takes nerve! Which she obviously has a lot of. 😉 It’s sad that she values your husband’s friendship little enough that she insisted on making him choose between his wife and his friend, too. Good for him for making the (obviously) right decision, though!

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