(Closed) My husband's bad hygiene is driving me away – Divorce, Seperate, or Endure?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Would you stay or Divorce?
    Stay- work on it, try to endure and hope for change : (44 votes)
    11 %
    Divorce- Got to get out! : (349 votes)
    89 %
  • Post # 166
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply

    On another thread you have clearly wanted lots of support.  

    Why are you behaving with so little sympathy here?



    Post # 167
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    misspenny2010:  I was thinking the same thing when I first read this post. 

    Post # 169
    68 posts
    Worker bee

    Hmm..that’s a tough call. Id say def try counseling. He has to be willing to try, which is what I think he lacks. As for being “gross”..I would say to maybe shower together. Try things that would make it fun for both of you. He just needs to make an effort. But if he knows you’re there to help, it might be easier.

    Post # 170
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Not sure

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    SUNSHINE200:  I know this post is way old… I’m curious as to how it all went, as far as if separation was the only answer. I’m sure it’s been said, but yes, I agree with pp, that it sounds like undiagnosed Diabetes to me. Diabetes causes fungus and neuropathy as well. It can cause yeast infections in both males and females. He’s obese, so Diabetes 2 is a risk. Diabetes can make you hungry even after you just ate. Excessive thirst. And high glucose levels in the blood can also cause IRRITABILITY. with that much going on in his body, it could cause depression. Depression can ultimately cause the lack of hygiene. diabetes also causes kidney problems. It affects the entire body. Also, it causes erectile dysfunction. I’m sure you have already left him at this point, but if you never begged him to get to a doctor, I hope you suggest it. I know a lot about diabetes, I work in nursing homes. My best friend had diabetes, so I was there with her in her struggles. I also used to read about it all the time. I’m no doctor, but all of these are symptoms. All that said, I hope you’ve made peace with all this. I’d want to leave too… 

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 12 months ago by  serenitysky.
    Post # 171
    3898 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    This sounds very hopeless. I think you deserve better. Leave 

    Post # 172
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Oh my. I had voted to stay and work it out because I don’t believe in divorce except in cases of physical abuse or adultery. But after reading your whole post…this is QUITE a doozy. My main question is: you really didn’t know all these things about him before marriage/he totally changed in the last two years? That’s truly a tragedy. I’d try counseling first before considering more permanent options. He’s clearly dealing with some mental/emotional stuff in unhealthy ways but that can be helped! Believe in the poor guy. Hang in there, bee and best of luck!

    Post # 173
    1788 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

    View original reply
    SUNSHINE200:  honestly, a lot of his behaviors display of those depression. im not saying this is at all okay, but honestly, sounds like something he seriously needs to work on, and it is something he should not be placing on you or blaming you for it. as much as you love him, you cannot persuade him to change; he needs to find his inner reasons for change. also, for your sanity and mental health, maybe seeking out also your own support system, taking space, or finding therapy as to finding a way to move along or away from this.

    i am so sorry you are going through this; and i am sorry for him for going through his own issues as well.

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