- 6 years ago
I have been missing from these boards for FAR TOO LONG! After I got engaged in June all of a sudden I felt burnt out of wedding planning. I guess I had done too much dreaming about it before getting engaged, and when it was time to do the work I just didn’t want to anymore! 🙂
Well, another reason for that was the endless discussions with the family and fiance about what we want. We created guest lists and discussed ideas, and talked about it with our families… and that’s where it all started crashing down for me. My mom wanted a big wedding, while my fiance wanted something small and inexpensive. I was really indecisive (as I always am). So we started out with the idea of bringing our families to a cabin in the mountains and taking a 4-day trip, getting married right there in front of the trees. Then my mom started wanting to add more and more people, until we ended up with 20 or so people, mostly from my family. Now, my parents are paying, yes, but my fiance has a huge family that I simply did not feel comfortable leaving out of our wedding! So I switched to trying to plan a big wedding, got depressed about paying the equivalent of a down payment on a home, while not liking the idea of a big wedding…. you understand.
This weekend my fiance and I had a getaway in the mountains, just the two of us. We LOVED it. So, so much. And we had time to talk. Well, I had some time to cry about it like the little bridezilla that I am, but we mostly talked. And finally reached a decision!
We will be taking our parents, siblings, and just our maid of honor/best man (who are a couple and our best friends anyway) to a cabin in the mountains, closer to us than planned before, for only a 3-day weekend, and have a lovely wedding there. That’s only 12 people, and it stays that way. No other family or friends are invited, so no agonizing about who’s coming. I’m letting my mom make some of the food and just help me out with all of the planning she wants to help out with so she feels better about it, and we’re getting the intimate wedding we want. I was dreading all of the dancing and socializing that is normally done at a big wedding. I just wanted natural, candid loving moments and conversations between us and our closest loved ones. No pomp. We’ll still have the traditional dances, no bouquet toss or garter toss. We will have delicious homemade food, all sit around a big table in a beautiful log cabin, dance and have a wonderful time.
Finally, I can’t wait to plan our wedding and get married! Ah, you have no idea what a relief it is! I was feeling so torn and sad about it, I was avoiding thinking about it. Now I finally feel the way I should feel: excited and happy about marrying my best friend, surrounded by our loved ones. Yay!!!
So, as a word of advice for indecisive brides like me: Do what you feel is right. Do not try to make your family happy. You will just become depressed and regret it. But once you really make the decision to do what you want and ignore the people who try to sway you otherwise, you will feel truly happy.