My Issues with a Fall Party/Reception After Our Small Summer Nuptials

posted 2 weeks ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6384 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think the timing is super important. You can also suggest an earlier but more casual party (End of summer/celebration bbq? picnic in the park?) to allieviate some of the pressure. 

Post # 3
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

i don’t think its tacky at all.  if you are uncomfortable with having a more formal “reception,” maybe a compromise would just be to throw a party celebrating your marriage without all of the traditional elements that a”wedding reception” entails.

Post # 4
Member
5411 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t think it’s tacky, I also think it’s important to do it if the original agreement for having a private wedding was to have the celebration later.  It seems kind of unfair to change your mind now the private wedding has already happened if your husband still really wants the friends and family celebration. 

Post # 7
Member
5411 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you’re worried about that just keep it super casual and focus on celebrating with loved ones rather than any of the fanfare. Could you even throw the party at home? 

achicago :  

Post # 9
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The timing is fine, however, it’s considered tacky to make any reference at all to gifts since you are not supposed to be thinking in those terms and it implies they would be otherwise expected. Gifts are in no way expected in this circumstance. 

Post # 11
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think this is universal. We were invited to the wedding anniversary party of a relative who is a ‘queen of etiquette’ and she had no gifts written on the invite.

weddingmaven :  

Post # 12
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Twizbe :  Not on this subject she’s not. That said, I’ve seen people who are sticklers for everything else intentionally ignore this rule. 

Post # 14
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

weddingmaven :  I think this is one of those areas where “etiquette” needs to catch up with the real world a little. This is one of those situations where many guests will feel uncertain about whether it is a gift giving occasion or not and if so what is an appropriate/normal amount to spend. It is helpful for the couple to clarify that they do not expect or would prefer not to receive gifts. 

Post # 15
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

sboom :  These things are so easy to look up. It’s always a friend or loved one’s prerogative to give a wedding present regardless of attendance at the ceremony. It’s traditionally very customary but not obligatory to give a gift if you’re invited to the actual wedding, obligatoryif you go by Post.  

For a reception in honor of an already wed couple, a gift is not  customary or obligatory, similar to an engagement party.

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