Post # 1
So, I made a post a second ago about “drunk and embarrassing things” Bees might have done and I received a comment about how it was (rightly) a little insensitive for bees who are sober who might be struggling through the holidays. So instead, I will share my own journey to sobriety to offer support instead.
I began drinking at 19. At 19, it seemed like the answer to all my problems! It transformed me from a shy, introverted girl with emotional issues stemming from various abuse to a wild-child, extrovert. It was as if I had found the magic potion! Some girls my age had a few drinks just to “loosen up”, I chugged the whole damn bottle to be a different person. I saw this as innocent for many years. For years, I was a train-wreck. While I wasn’t the “alcoholic” you see on shows like “Intervention” where their whole life is in the shitter, I was still the walking example of self-destruction. As I said in a previous post, I was a late bloomer in terms of physical intimacy. I FEARED physical intimacy, I am guessing due to sexual abuse I suffered as a child (a lot of which I believe is still repressed). How did I overcome this fear? Alcohol. Lots and lots of booze. Once I finally lost my virginity, it was on. I dated so many douchebags and our relationships all centered around getting mind blowingly fucked up. But soon enough, booze wasn’t enough. Cocaine had to go with booze. That’s when I knew I was in trouble, big trouble. But for me, the party was still going! It wasn’t until I met my boyfriend-my sweet, square (and I use that term with so much love and affection) boyfriend that I began to face these demons. The demons that told me for many years that all the sunshine would be sucked from life if someone took the bottle out of my hand or the dollar bill out of my nose. I began to come clean to people about my demons…but the funny part? Everyone already knew. Nothing was a surprise. So, the journey to sobriety has been a rocky road for me. I’m not totally there yet. But I have a wonderful support system. My parents, friends and a wonderful man. This is all over the place yes, but I wanted to put this out there for any bees who might have struggled like I have or still be struggling. My love and support to you. Merry Christmas.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
This is a great topic. I am 8 months sober. I’m struggling really bad the last couple of days but it is with my great support system that I haven’t picked up. With all the wonderful commercials about drinking, the holiday parties that are coming, the small get together’s and the mood of the holiday’s in it self (I get depressed during the holiday’s) I want to drink so bad. Just one drink I keep telling myself, one glass of one, or one beer but I know myself that leads to the shots and that’s where I get into trouble. So by the grace of god today I can say I am so grateful for being sober.
Post # 3
keviah12 : I totally, like 100000% know what you are going through. You see the “normal” people who CAN have one glass of wine, one beer. And you think “what am I thinking?! That could be me!!”. And sometimes you get tricked! Sometimes that CAN be you…but then the next night, or the night after you go on a bender. And you’ve done countless shots and are sick and have humiliated yourself, then you remember “oh yeah, that can’t be me. I can’t drink like those people can”. I don’t want to speak for you, but at least that’s how it goes with me.
Post # 4
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story, bee. I am 2.5 months sober and it’s been challenging not picking up my drink of choice at the holiday get togethers recently. I just remind myself that it is never one drink and I will soon be miserable.
Post # 5
Thanks for sharing. It’s not something I’ve suffered, but other friends have. It’s important to shed light on it and to remove stigmas.
Post # 6
Almost 14 months sober here! One day at a time!
Post # 7
Thanks for starting this thread. Three and a half years here…and now look at all the awesome things we all have to look forward to!!!
Post # 8
You bees are awesome 🙂 I am proud of all of you
Post # 9
Congratulations, Bee! To you, and all of our Bees who are fighting for their sobriety. It’s a battle worth the pain. Continuing to practice a drug or alcohol addiction is death.
How fortunate to find a man willing to go through this with you! So many people would cut and run. I would. It sounds like you have found yourself a guy on whom you will be able to rely on the future when Real Life stuff happens.
Fortunately, I somehow escaped becoming addicted, but I was definitely a drinker for many years. I get it. What fun can you possibly have if you’re not shit faced?
One day, several years ago, I just stopped. Mainly because it was putting weight on me, it didn’t do that when I was 21. Quitting was not a big deal, I am very fortunate that way, particularly considering that my mother was an end stage alcoholic.
Not drinking became a new habit, like ordering iced tea when we eat out. It only takes 21 days for a new behavior to become a habit. Maybe you can make that work for you.
At this point, the idea of alcohol seems yucky to me. I don’t miss it at all.
Dh is a wine connoisseur, but he went on meds that don’t mix well with alcohol, so he had to give up his evening libations. He doesn’t seem to miss it either.
Again, congratulations, stay strong. You guys have got this.
Post # 10
Forty-plus years sober. One day at a time. (Actually, at the beginning it was sometimes one hour at a time.) It gets easier. It really does. A good sponsor can help a lot. And, of course, meetings.
I was a couple of months sober when I asked my great sponsor if I would always care as much as I did then. He said in a year I would care but I wouldn’t care that I cared. Which meant nothing to me then, but he was absolutely right.
In the beginning it was months before I trusted myself to go anywhere there would be alcohol. No shame in that.
Post # 11
I am so so proud of you all! *Hugs*