Post # 1
I have four children three girls and one boy oldest is 10 youngest is 5. I am getting married in may 2013 and want each of them to somehow be in the wedding. I was told the girls who are 9 7 & 5 are to young to be bridesmaids, and my son who is 10 is to young for groomsmen. Any ideas on how i can incorporate them into the wedding?
Post # 3
Hi! Maybe your sons could be ring bearers and the girls flower girls or the older one be a junior bridesmaid? Good luck!
Post # 4
Is there an unwritten rule somewhere about the age of bridesmaid/groomsen? I would think it depends on their maturity level. I would think your two oldest can be Bridesmaid or Best Man & GM(who can also hold the ring) and the younger two as flower girls.
Our three sons will be 4,3 & 1! I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate them!
Post # 5
The person who told you there were too young is wrong. The wedding police aren’t going to stop your wedding if you have them as bridesmaids and groomsmen. The only thing they can’t do is sign the marriage certificiate as a witness (because they’re not adults), but any adult guest can do that, e.g. 2 of the parents.
That said, traditionally the roles are:
ring bearer / flower girl for ages 4 to about 9, but personally I think they’re ok up to 10 or 11
junior groomsman / junior bridesmaid from that age up to adult
groomsman / bridesmaid for adults
Post # 6
What about your son walking you down the aisle? My dad and I have a good relationship now, but I didn’t meet him until 7 years ago. My grandpa, who was a big part of my life, has medical issues that will prevent him from walking me. So I want my oldest son, 10, to escort me. You could have your girls as flower girls or jr. bridesmaids and maybe do a unity candle with them included?
Post # 7
Your kids are absolutely NOT too young to be attendants. Your wedding can be whatever you want it to be. Having said that…. if your wedding is really formal and the focus of your wording is centered on you and your Fiance as a couple… then your kids would probably be less involved.
My daughter is 12 and will be my Maid/Matron of Honor (and only attendant). We have done several things to include her in the ceremony.
- We changed the wording of the ceremony – practically re-wrote the whole thing. It’s now focused on me and Fi becoming husband and wife and the 3 of us becoming a family.
- The Declaration of Intent was changed so that after the part about us intending to be man and wife….. our Officiant will say “But you are also creating a new family. Are you also here to pledge your intention to live as a family, committing to Daughter to support and respect and care for her during times of joy and hardship?” We will say “we do” and then the Officiant will ask my daughter will you accept the love and support of Bride and Groom” and she will answer “I will”.
- We are having a ring ceremony. We have claddagh rings, and we will give my daughter a Claddagh ring at the ceremony (this is an Irish tradition – that a daughter would receive a Claddagh Ring from her family). After Fiance and I exchange rings (which is switching the direction of the ring, as we are wearing the rings now as engagement rings) then I will present the ring to my daughter and ask if she will accept the ring as a symbol of our family’s love, loyalty and friendship? She will answer “I will”.
I have seen sand ceremonies that include kids. I have also seen unity candle ceremonies that include kids (but may want to be careful with fire since your kids are young).
You can do a “wishing” ceremony…. where each of you writes a wish that you have for your family. Then you can either put them in a box to be opened at a specific date in the future or you can “release” them by tying to a balloon or lantern into the sky.
As far as some other things we are doing that are more planning….. she got to pick one of the songs we will play during the ceremony, she got to design her own bouquet and she got to pick 5 songs for the reception.
I’d love to hear what you guys end up doing to include your kids!!!!!!