Post # 1
I’m 26, completely in love my with Fiance but have no sex drive. It has been this way for a year. I am rarely in the mood, I don’t initiate. I turn Fiance down a lot but feel terrible about it. He’s usually good about it but lately it’s been affecting us both negatively and I just wish it could be like before. I am going to make an appoIntment with my doc to get blood work, etc. Antone have a similar problem and discover there was a medical issue responsible? I would be so relieved.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I don’t have the specific advice you asked for, but could it be the pill or some other form of birth control? Birth control affects different women way differently, and I’ve heard that sometimes it dampens your sex drive. Probably something your doctor will ask you anyway in your appointment!
Post # 4
I went off the pill to rule that out so bc isnt the culprit in this case
Post # 5
I had a similar issue when I was engaged in my early 20’s. It could be other medications you might be taking.
In my experience the cause wasn’t physical and resolved itself.
Post # 6
It could be medical, could be something else, the point is being motivated and diligent about resolving whatever it is before it erodes your relationship further. Good on you for being proactive!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
The more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it, is my advice. Due to health issues, I’ve had similar problems to you, and I had to make a conscious effort to just go with the flow when things were initiated, and it just got easier and more fun. I always enjoyed it once I started, but it’s just getting over that initial hurdle.
That said, the first pill I was on did totally kill my sex drive, but swapping that was fairly painless and really helped.
Post # 8
I have a low sex drive, although I attribute it to my birth control. Fiance also has a low sex drive, so it’s not too big of a deal for us.
Anyway, Fiance and I make a point to never turn each other down…if someone initiates it, you go along with it. Sure, you might not be in to it at first, but that always turns around. I’ve also noticed the more we do it, the more I want it!
Post # 9
@canadian-b33: Have you had any weight gain? I gained a bit of weight last year and never wanted to be intimate because I just wasn’t interested. Now that I’m back at the gym I seem to initaite it a lot more! Not saying that is the case with everybody just what I went through last year
Post # 10
I attributed my low sex drive to the anxiety medication I was on. Once I was off of it, I was fine.
Post # 11
Thanks for the feedback bees
No major weight gain.. Maybe 1-2 pounds?
Post # 12
I don’t recall every having a sex drive… but I’ve also been on antidepressants since 16 and birth control since 19. SO has a higher drive, but he says it doens’t bother him and knows I’m insecure about it. I’m hoping the “the more you do it the more you want it” happens, too. I’m trying to get into the swing of that but we’ll see how it goes. So we have different drives but I can’t say it’s causing major problems right now.
Post # 13
I think I’ll try to do it more instead of avoiding and see if that helps!
Post # 15
Well if I had sex with my husband ONLY when I was in the mood for it, I’m sure our frequency would be lower!
Unless you’re uber sick or just got woke from a sound sleep at 2am, I say go ahead and let yourself enjoy the intimacy. No need to turn him down everytime just because you’re not feeling like it at the moment. You might not feel like it at first, but eventually you’ll get into it or at least have fun!
Post # 16
Whilst you are waiting for results etc, I think that you need to make more of an effort.
You don’t always have to be in the mood for it to say yes. Just say yes, get the party going and you’ll get into it eventually. Then the more sex you have the more you’ll want it. Even if your body doesn’t feel like it, set your mind to wanting it. Use lube if that is a problem.
Perhaps focus on pleasing your SO? and the fact that he is left out? Sometimes you just have to ‘take one for the team’. He sounds like a good guy who could use a break.
Perhaps even agree to having sex once a day for a week just to really jump into the deep end and set things going again.