(Closed) My LDR engagement is depressing me

posted 9 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
12 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

Are you able to inquire into what is taking so long with his Visa application?  

Also, I think the two of you need to focus on each other and not that application.  Discuss the follow up on July 26, and then from July 26-August 26 unless something has changed discuss your wedding and your love for each other.  Get back to the basics of loving each other and not about who will resent who.  In the end if it does come down to it, if you both are more worried about who will be resentful then both of you probably will be.  He is trying to give up his life and move there with you, be supportive of him because he knows this is what you want.

Post # 5
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Um we are in the midst of a K1 Visa too and im not aure where you got the 5 month estimate. I submitted the first part and it was recieved and we wont get the second notification for around 5 months and then have prob another 2-5 months waiting after that. Every estimate ive seen is at least 7 months…

We applied in may expect next paperwork sept-oct- hoping to book medicals/physicals nov/dec and move get married jan-mar next year..|Its a crazy long expensive process..not to mention frusturating.

Theres a website called visajourney you might want to look at if you havent already. Its an incredible resource with timelines support forums etc..

Good Luck..

Post # 7
22 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

So sorry to hear about your long wait. I just filed my K-1 earlier this month. I’d keep checking on your case and try to get to a supervisor. After a certain period of time over the stated estimated time, I think you may qualify for an expedite.

Post # 8
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m processing a K-1 as well and on VisaJourney. You might want to consider contacting your congressman, which is what I have seem suggested when it’s taking *this* long. That’s a ridiculous timeframe and I’m so sorry it’s taking as long as it is. Unfortunately it’s just one of those things you can’t possibly control Try contacting your congressman to move things along, VJers might help you figure out exactly how to do that. I’m not sure if email or papermail would be appropriate.

Aside from that fact though, I feel your pain on the LDR engagement. I’ve spend a totaly of 6 days with my fiancé since he proposed and we’ve been engaged for months. I don’t have many words of advice, but try to remember it’s high stress for both of you and you need to come together to overcome, not take it out on each other.

I wish you the best of luck!! I’m so sorry this is happening.

Post # 10
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

🙁  I’m really sorry.  LDR’s are stressful enough without this added stress of uncertainty.  I unfortunately have no experience dealing with the visa issues, but it sounds like you know enough about that, so I won’t try to give you more advice on that issue. 🙂

So, I guess the only thing I can think of to help you is to, as difficult as it is, stay positive!  Think about how strong this will make you as a couple.  It sounds like you may be having some communication difficulties, especially with expectations.  Call or webcam and each list your goals and wishes for this visa issue. 

Talk about every possibility and make almost a ‘flow chart’ of possible outcomes.  Also, start to make decisions because this can’t go on forever.  It will have an end in 2 ways: either you get the visa, or you don’t and you make alternate plans.  So, decide how long you’re both willing to wait, and decide what your back-up plan is.

Remember that you’re both going through the same emotions and frustrations, and while it’s easy to take it out on each other, allow the shared frustration to join you together since you’re BOTH going through it. Do you send letters, care packages, or little gifts, etc to each other?  For us it’s a HUGE help and so romantic.  It helps keep the spark alive from a distance.

I hope that helps.  I’m so sorry you’re going through this, although I kind of understand.  DH is in military training and we won’t be able to move together until it’s finished.  We have no idea when that will be.  We’ve been told to expect next summer, but it may be as far away as next winter.  It sucks to not know, but you can only change your reaction to your situation and make sure you stay united as a couple.

Post # 11
22 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

I hate to hear about all you’re going through. Wait for 6 months?! They’ve got to be joking! I wish I had more ideas for you or could help you in some other way. I’m sure the not knowing or seeing an end in sight adds stress to the relationship. Please stay strong and although we don’t know each other know that I’m rooting for you to get that visa, SOON!

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