- Miss Summertime
- 9 years ago
Hello all, I’m glad I found this site because I think I would drive my boyfriend crazy or possibly explode with pent-up anticipation/nerves if I didn’t find a place to vent!
So my story…I have been dating Mr. Wonderful for just over two years now. Normally I would say this is a short amount of time but we’re both in our early 30s and never married so it’s kind of that time in your life where you date to date seriously.
For awhile I didn’t know if he was even open to marriage at all, and I don’t think he did either. It was to the point where I was mentally deciding if I was willing to forgo marriage altogether because it might just not be for him.
So within the past 6 months or so he finally started talking about it and even gave me a timeline, saying our ‘deadline’ (his word, not mine,) for getting engaged will be our third anniversary next spring.
This was all rolling along ok until our best friends got engaged. It was such a weird thing because we all met and started dating at pretty much the exact same time. I was out with my best friend of many years, he was at the same bar with his best friend of many years, we all met and his best friend and my best friend are also a couple.
So my friend and his friend announced recently that they are engaged and the wedding will be this summer. And I feel like that threw us off big time. I am nothing but super happy for my friend, I want to emphasize that a million times over first. It is so hard to watch her buying the dress, picking the cake, giddy with anticipation, though, when we had this kind of ‘twin’ relationship and it just emphasizes that it hasn’t happened for me.
Second, immediately after the engagement my boyfriend was actually talking about our own hypothetical wedding a lot more, since it naturally came up a lot what with both our friends in the midst of planning. I was really happy about that. But then, for no reason I can tell, he seemed to freak out a bit and completely clammed up on the topic. If the topic comes up he will literally just laugh nervously and not say a word until the subject is changed. He told me right out that he doesn’t want to discuss it again at ALL for at least a few months.
I know most guys aren’t thrilled by the idea of talking a lot about weddings when they’re nervous about taking the plunge. And I’m sure our friend’s frequent talking about all the planning has kind of overloaded him on the topic. But if this is something he’s actually willing to do, why treat it like some hideous topic that can never be spoken of? If he can’t even SPEAK about the idea now, my fear is, what if he really won’t be ready when we meet our ‘deadline’ next year?
I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas but Christmas is like two years away and may or may not be coming. I know I should put it aside, live my life, let things develop, but darn it, I just can’t seem to help it! Argh!
Vent complete, ha ha.