Post # 1
I am 23 and just finished my first year of teaching. I signed my contract for the 2013-2014 school year and now that it is summer, it just feels like the right time to move out of my parents house. My mom won’t agree, but my stepdad will haha. My boyfriend just moved down here from a different city to take an awesome job. He is living in a not so great space with a terrible roommate that he found on a craigslist ad (I don’t know if I would put myself in that situation to be closer to him lol).
Anyways, its summer! I have a break from working and at the end of June my boyfriend’s 3 month lease ends…. Why not move in together? Here’s the thing… we’ve only been dating 2 years… we get along so well and know how to communicate our way through problems and we both want to get engaged when the time is right. I think this would be a good step for us, but my mom is really opinionated and I already know she won’t be thrilled about this (eventhough she really likes him and knows him so well considering he is always hanging out at the house).
The way I see it, he has to get his own place next month anyway and I am not going to live at home another whole year. I want responsibility and to feel like I didn’t take a step backwards after college. Plus if I get my own place and my boyfriend gets his own place- we will just be spending the night at eachothers place every night. So why not just share the cost and do what we want to do.
We are looking at a furnished apartment… that way if things dont work out for some reason, we wont be splitting all of our furniture we bought.
If you were a very overprotective mom, how would you feel about this? haha
Post # 3
@alohakay: I could see your mom being a bit hesitant, but I would explain to her that you’re going to have BOTH names on the lease and that you are going to split household costs 50/50 so she feels more that you’re roommates and it makes it a bit easier if something hits the fan.
She’s always going to worry no matter what, but you have to be able to stand on your own sometime 🙂
Can you talk with your Step Dad and explain to him whats going on and try to get him to help you out?
I would also ask your Mom what she’s worried about, your safety or you sharing the living space that way you can address the root of the concerns 🙂
Post # 4
Is your mom opposed to you moving in with BF? 2 years is quite a long time of dating someone seriously. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. She must understand that. Sounds like she’s having a hard time letting you go. She will get used to it over time. I talk to my mom almost everyday (whether its a text or email or call) just to let her know I’m not completely gone. Anyone will tell you it’s recommended you live with someone before you marry them. Renting is much easier than buying together, so I suggest renting (you didn’t specify).
Post # 5
I finally talked to her after months of waiting it out. I am going to look at the apartment tomorrow, so I figured it is better to tell her before I officially start looking than after. She took it better than expected, but still did not seem that pleased with the decision. She said she expected it to happen this summer since I am out of work for 2 months, but she was so concerned with “what happens when you fight? how will you find space? what if you break up? ” etc. To all of that I just told her every couple fights and needs space and we will work around it like everyone else. I also told her we’re splitting everything 50/50 and its furnished so we dont have to split money to buy furniture/appliances should things take a turn for the worst. I always can come stay at my house too if I need to get away since my family is in the same city.
She told me to go look at the place and we’d talk more about it after tomorrow. So i guess we will see what happens! I do feel better that its off my chest and I can finally breathe again!