(Closed) My maid of honor isn’t coming to my bridal shower…………..

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The show does go on….

Sorry your going through this… 🙁 *HUGS*

Post # 4
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

How was your relationship before the wedding planning? Is she always this busy? If you were/are close friends, she should be able to tell you how she’s feeling.  Three kids is hard work and I don’t want to down play that.  She just needs to be honest with herself and you.

It seem to me that she doesn’t understands her role as a Maid/Matron of Honor very well or that  she’s really into helping with your wedding.  She tried to bail once but couldn’t go through with it and now she has every excuse in the book to not go to things or even get a dress.  It almost seems like she’s waiting for you to give her the boot. I’d have a talk with her and see where her heart it is. It might be best for both parties involved if you had a different Maid/Matron of Honor.

Good luck.


Post # 5
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but I think she has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want to/can’t be in your wedding but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings but just quitting.  She does seem very busy with three kids, and it doesn’t seem like your bridal shower is at the top of your list.  

Post # 6
28 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think charm bracelet is right. I think although it may be hard you should have a chat with her and see if she REALLY wants to have the Maid/Matron of Honor role….. I have two kids and it is hard work fitting everything in but as a mum you also need time out! I know if it were me i’d find child care for the few hours of the shower and dress fitting etc… It would be a nice break for me. You shouldn’t give up your life just because you have children…. Is there anyone else you could ask to be MOH? It’s a tricky one and i really hope you get things sorted out. It’s not nice having to go through these things when you just want it all settled and everybody happy! You dont want this hanging over you and ruin your wedding planning!

Post # 7
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am sure she cares about you alot but I don’t think she really realized that she would be giving up all of her regular scheduled events. You both need to take a step back and talk it out. It’s probably best if she is not the Maid/Matron of Honor (the person who is supposed to have the biggest role in your wedding party).

Good luck and I hope your wedding day is amazing!

Post # 8
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you need to really think about this yourself and decide how you want to handle the situation going forward.

She has already told you she can’t fullfill the normal Maid/Matron of Honor duties (buy a dress, plan a shower, devote lots of time/money to your wedding).  It sounds like while she is willing to still participate it is going to be tough and it is going to be a very limited role.  I think you either need to come to terms with the fact that she can’t do all the traditional Maid/Matron of Honor things for you.  If you expect her to be a full blown Maid/Matron of Honor and fullfill all the traditional Maid/Matron of Honor duties then you will continue to be disappointed. 

If you really want a traditional Maid/Matron of Honor that can be there for you and do all those things then you probably need to let her go as Maid/Matron of Honor and find a new one or something.


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