(Closed) My Maid of Honor just backed out on me with 3 Months to go!!

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

The person I was planning on having as my Maid/Matron of Honor backed out and I ended up going with my SIL.  I couldn’t get any of my other close friends to come out for my wedding.

Post # 4
1338 posts
Bumble bee

Do you have, like, a female cousin who is already planning to come to the wedding that could do it?

Post # 5
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have been to a few weddings where the bridesmaids and groomsmen were “uneven.” Don’t just choose someone to be in the wedding party unless you REALLY want them there. If you go with someone you don’t know that well…

A. That girl will know she’s a last minute choice, which is awkward.

B. You’ll look back at your wedding pictures and hardly even remember her name, which is sad!


Post # 9
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, I’m so sorry this happened to you! I can’t even imagine what a letdown it would be to have my Maid/Matron of Honor back out of coming to my wedding. 

As for what to do, I wouldn’t worry about adding another Bridesmaid or Best Man unless there’s someone else with whom you’re really close. Although it’s terrible that your Maid/Matron of Honor stepped down, and I understand that having an uneven wedding party can drive some people a little nuts (like my SO), if there’s not someone else so important to you who you would want to stand by you at your wedding, I think it’s perfectly acceptable not to add another Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

I don’t whether or not you’re considering making another Bridesmaid or Best Man your Maid/Matron of Honor, but I don’t think you have to necessarily worry about this. You don’t need to have an Maid/Matron of Honor, as nice as that might be; three BMs is totally great–you have three friends willing to stand by your side as you get married, and that’s exciting! I’d also explain (briefly) the situation with your Maid/Matron of Honor and ask if any of them would want to make a toast at the wedding. You certainly deserve to have someone say kind things about you at your wedding, and I’m sure one of your BMs would be more than happy to do so.  

Hope this helps and that the situation gets all worked out beautifully! 

Post # 10
18 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

If it helps, we are having an unequal number of attendants. This seems to be the “new norm” and I’ve seen a lot of uneven wedding parties in the photos I’ve been seeing when we searched for photographers.

If I were you, I’d just keep the wedding party to the people you know will support you and not to a certain number to balance out the look. I hope you have a great wedding day!

Post # 11
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

I’m having an unequal #!  One groomsman will just escort 2 ladies 🙂

Post # 12
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m doing the same as Miss Marine — one of the groomsmen will escort two of the ladies 🙂 then the others are paired up.


Post # 13
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Keep talking to your Fiance about this, and explain that you don’t want to randomly “fill in the gap” with someone you don’t feel close to. Maybe he will come around! Plus, your attendants are a very personal thing…you aren’t mandating who/how many he has, are you? Then why should he get to say how many you have to have?

Post # 14
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Are there any guys in your life that you’re really close to? It’s totally ok to have a guy on your side- I’ve been to lots of weddings with a “Man of Honor” or a “Bridesman”… you say you don’t have close girl friends, but do you have close guy friends? Or even a brother or someone who could stand with you? 

I just think that you should do what makes you happy, not force yourself to be stressed b/c of “tradition” 

Post # 15
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ours is uneven, too–twice as many girls as guys.  I hope your Fiance comes around; I think it could be very awkward to have someone not as close included in your bridal party just because you wanted matching numbers.  You’ll know it, and she will too!

Post # 16
2546 posts
Sugar bee

Most weddings I have been to have an un-even bridal party.

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