(Closed) My Maid of Honor Stole my wedding color scheme

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It is rude,but I wouldn’t worry about it unless she copies your dresses and flowers.lol.Maybe you two happen to like the same colors.

Post # 4
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Meh – don’t worry about it.  🙂

To be honest, I can’t remember the colour scheme of any wedding I’ve ever been to and it’s not like your choices are going to be exactly the same even if your colours are.  I’d chalk it up to “great minds think alike” and try not to dwell on it!

Post # 5
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s just colors, seriously.  No one owns colors, not even Tiffany and their blue.  Be flattered that she liked yours so much she’s using them too and move on to more important things 🙂

Post # 6
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I would be bummed out about the colors. Do you have a lot of shared guests between the two?

  I would say that if you’re concerned, try not to share any other planning details with her. Have your girls order their bridesmaid dresses after your Maid/Matron of Honor has her girls order them.

  I’m hoping it’s just a case of great minds thinking alike!

Post # 7
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As her wedding is after yours I would not worry too much.

(It is a bit rude though!)

Post # 8
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think other than you and your Maid/Matron of Honor, no one will even notice you two share the same colors.  Even though you were engaged first, you don’t really have any rights to a color unfortunately (think of all those poor brides who marry after you!!) Also, there are many shades to one color!  Can you go with different shades?

Although I don’t think it’s a big deal, I would not pick colors knowing a close friend of mine has chosen them too (ie, my favorite color is purple but it is not one of my wedding colors for that reason).

Post # 9
2 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

I can understand why you would be upset — however:

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, 90% of your guests surprisingly won’t pay too much attention to detail.  Maybe switch the color scheme up a bit… for example, if your color sheme was purple with silver accents, consider using purple as the accent color instead (of course this wouldn’t work if you have everything planned out).  If your Maid/Matron of Honor is still planning out the details to her wedding, maybe pass the suggestion.  OR maybe change your accent color or add a third color.  

Either way take it as a compliment, but most importantly don’t let it ruin your day or your friendship.


Post # 10
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I thnk it’s rude. I have one of FH’s Groomsmen who got engaged after us plan for their wedding to be two weeks before ours and ask FH to be a Groomsmen for them too!!!! So I’ve just opted to out wedding lol

Post # 11
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would talk to her about it. A close friend of mine we are both getting married a month apart and will be in each others wedding. We talked and made sure some of the main things wouldn’t be the same. The colors was one of our main, but thankfully we both like different colors and have some different ideas.

My advice, just talk to her about it & make sure other details won’t be the same. Colors can be the same if everything else is different I think. Hope this helps.

Post # 12
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My sister and I are using the same color getting married 2 months apart but her accent is silver and mine is gold and we are going in totally different directions so its doable.  Cheer up, it’ll be okay.

Post # 13
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Seriously I am pretty sure a lot of other bees have probably “stolen” your wedding colours as well! Shock horror! I would also be interested in what your colours are since you didn’t say!

And as PP’s said most guests really don’t notice a weddings colour scheme for more than 5 minutes.

I think it is important to remember what the purpose of a wedding day is for two people to make a committment to each other and join their lives. Everything else (the party, the dress, the flowers) are just extras and aren’t needed to meet the end goal!

Post # 14
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s just a color.  Let it go.

Post # 15
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, it’s actually really hard finding a colour scheme. Maybe she’s had family pressure / forgot what yours is. Your weddings will be different and a few weeks later, noone is going to notice! I’d let it go.

Post # 16
748 posts
Busy bee

I think it would have been nice of her to have discussed it with you first, let you know that she loves your colors so much that she wants to use them as well. Like PP said, most guests don’t notice the colors (I know I never really do), but she could have planned her wedding AFTER yours out of courtesy, not before. If it really bothers you, I would gently bring it up to her and just say that you don’t want her to change anything now, but would have appreciated it if she had talked to you about it first. If it’s not too big of a deal to you, then just let it go.

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