(Closed) My Maid of Honor Stole my wedding color scheme

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it depends on the colors, if they are really unique I would be annoyed….

Post # 18
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I disagree with the statement that she should have planned her wedding after yours. It’s hard enough to pick a wedding date, I’m sure yours had little or nothing to do with her choice.

No one’s going to notice the colors. It’ll be fine. If nothing else, take it as a compliment. She thinks you have good taste.

Post # 19
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

What are your colours and what are her colours? are they the exact same shade? Do you have a bunch of guests in common?

I dont think colour sharing is anything to get in a tizzy about regardless , as others said.. colours are there for the pickin’

Post # 20
Member
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsOliveBird:  I believe, based on what the OP wrote, that the MOH’s wedding is actually first 🙁

@cupcakecrush:  I would be upset… I told a friend of mine (before either of us were engaged, but we both knew it was coming soon) ONE of the colors I wanted to use, and she told me the color (a different one) that she wanted… she got engaged a week later and I immediately heard her telling everyone what color she was using – The one I had said :/ …Mind you, we were getting married in the same church, having some of the same bridal party members, having at least 1/2 of the guests the same…

Thankfully, she couldn’t quite find that exact color, but went with something close… And I went with a different shade of that color (for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses at least… We did use some of the same blue shades in our decor, but we had TOTALLY different styles) – So it worked, but I immediately knew, since she was getting married 3.5 months before me, I just had to keep quiet about the things that I wanted… 

Obviously you can’t really do this, OP, since she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor… I would be flattered, and I would simply do my best to use those colors in a different way… AND, because your MOH’s wedding is first, maybe you can borrow some of her decor things to save yourself money 🙂 I did this with my friend (Flower petals for FGs, tulle, and I actually borrowed her veil too!)  It’ll work out fine – You’ll both put your own spin on it, but I totally understand why you’re upset

Post # 21
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@atalante:  

Yeah I agree. Should she plan her wedding for after the OP’s just because they share a colour scheme? No way – that’s ridiculous.

COlours are just colours. Nobody owns them. You could have the exact same colours but totally different decorations…it will look different and nobody will notice.

Post # 22
Member
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

There are only so many colors in the world… don’t worry about it. She will choose different decor items and food and dress than you so nobody will even notice!

Post # 23
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Imitiation is the best form of flattery!

I remember hanging around my sister and how she wanted everything I wanted… it was annoying, but I knew she wanted to be like me, so I just sucked it up and smiled. I think you should do the same, even if she’s trying to mirror your wedding. Also, maybe you wanna keep her out of the loop for a few things just to make sure she DOESN’T try to mirror your wedding.

 

Actually, it’ll look like YOU’RE the copycat… yeah, that sucks.

Post # 24
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wait- I’m not allowed to use the same colors as any of my friends? Between the weddings last year and the weddings I’m going to in May, I would have to rule out: purple and green, blue and green, blue and purple, teal black and white, blue and yellow. So I basically can’t use blue then?

It sounds like you’re more upset that you’re engaged first and she’s married first. 

Post # 25
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

So happy that we went with the southern patriotic camoflauge. No worry that one of my girls will follow on that!!!

Honestly, like other posters have said, people aren’t going to show up at your wedding and talk about it. And if they do, SO WHAT!!!

Post # 27
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cupcakecrush:  that sounds really pretty.  Not to damper your spirits, but aqua/red is actually a popular color combo!  Also, I just googled robins egg + red and got a lot of results.  Like this wedding:

http://paratinovia.com/real-wedding-celina-raphi-in-los-angeles-ca

I would assume your friend didn’t pick the same colors as you to hurt your feelings or outdo you; she may have just ended up liking the same combo! Like some of the others have said, take it as a compliment. Even if she purposefully chose the same color I would try to be the bigger person… it really isn’t worth creating tension in the friendship.

Post # 28
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I do see why you’re less than happy, but I wouldn’t worry too much. It is rude for her to choose the same colors, and even ruder (IMO) for her to schedule her wedding before and so close to yours (especially considering she got engaged after you). Still, I wouldn’t waste my time worrying about it. PPs are right; guests probably won’t even remember the colors from one wedding to the next. 

Post # 29
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I definitely would be annoyed, but I would let it go (: That’s a pretty popular colour scheme anyways.

Post # 30
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would be annoyed. Of all the color options, she chooses the exact same?

But really, it can look totally different. Different accents, different styles/shades. As long as the bm dresses aren’t the exact same, don’t let it get to you. 

Be annoyed here but don’t lose sleep over it. It’s not worth the energy. . 

Post # 31
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would be annoyed and flattered at the same time lol. I say let it go…. Your can have 2 weddings , ,same colors…..and be totally different!

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