Post # 1
I love my maid of honor but she is having a hard time accepting that he child is at an age where he cannot be taken with us certain places. I do not now how to addresss the issue without hurting her feelings, but I am not getting things done that I would ike becuase she always wants to bring him. 1st it was the brial show, I was only saved by the statement online asking that chldren not attened. I wan t to try on dresses and she wants to take him. he runs around the store, touches everything, and when he knows all the other girls think he’s cute he puts on an annoying little show of misbehaving. We can’t even look at cakes with out him freaking out cause he wants some.
I love kids, I have an ECE degree and hope to have my own but I would leave them with a sitter while doing these things. I have to plan things around the both of them and even though I want her to be a part of my wedding I feel it’d be best for someone who either doesn’t have kids or who has better means of childcare fill the spot.
Post # 3
I would let her know that it is really important to you that she’s a part of all these decisions and goes to shows and things with you. But that it just really isn’t possible to get the kind of stuff done that you would like to get done with a 3 year old around. Is it a matter of not having a babysitter or not being able to afford one? If that’s the case, maybe you have a friend or relative willing to watch him once or twice. Also, how often are the 2 (errr…the 3) of you out at shows and shopping? If it’s like multiple times a week, I would suggest cutting back or maybe spreading the responsibility among your other BMs too. It could be that you guys are just out too much for her to leave her kid behind. I would also let her know that there are certain times he absolutely cannot come, like dress stuff but other times when it’d be ok if he comes.
Post # 4
do the cake tasting with fiance… moh shouldnt be there . its the cake u and ur future hubby get to choose. tell her the truth u would like to get wedding things planned with her but she is not being helpful by bringing a distraction… i took my 6 year old dress shopping for my dress and bridesmaids dress- 4 dress shops each time it was hard but it got done.. there was 6 adults-5 bridesmaids and i- taking turns of tryin on dresses while someone kept her entertained..
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
@little_cricket: I agree. I just want to add that if I were in your situation and it was a money issue for my Maid/Matron of Honor I might pay for a babysitter during those times when it’s really important her 3 year old isn’t there (:
Post # 6
I would honestly take into consideration why she’s bringing her 3 y/o with her all the time. Are you able to find out why? Can she not afford a sitter or doesn’t feel comfortable using someone that she doesn’t know? Does she not have his father or other family nearby that can watch him? If she has a good reason then i can see it being totally reasonable. I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my kids with someone that I don’t know…
Post # 7
As the mother of a 3 year old who is very much like the child you described, I wonder if she either can’t afford a sitter or doesn’t have one. There are many times that I’d LOVE to get away from my kids to do wedding planning stuff by myself or with my Bridesmaid or Best Man, but very often I can’t get away, due to lack of money or lack of sitter. I’m not sure how your Maid/Matron of Honor would feel about offering to pay for a sitter, but I’d feel appreciative, but very awkward if someone offered to pay for a sitter for my kids. Are you close to her mother or sister (if she has one), if so, maybe you can talk to them about babysitting for her while you’re out? Or if she knows your mother, ask her? Just a suggestion. My Maid/Matron of Honor, who is also my best friend, has had her mom babysit for me so that I could get away and have 1 on 1 time with her. I’m sure she is probably as frustrated as you in those situations… it’s very akward trying to keep your child in check while at a fancy store/restaurant/etc., especially while everyone’s looking at you and there’s a bunch of people around. Good luck!
Post # 8
It’s certainly not an issue of not having anyone to watch him. Her parents live next door, her aunt lives behind them, to other aunts within blocks, also including a host of cousins, her neice who babysits free of charge all the time lives with her.
At this point I don’t think I have gone to crazy with doing things, bridal show was in january,(7th or 8th) we tired looking at dresses last week. She said she wanted to go today and I thought she had asked her sister who also lives with er to watch him as she often does. When she showed up she had kiddo in tow so I suggested that maybe today wasn’t a good day for dresses and we did lunch and the park.
My fiance isn’t keen on cake so my friend and I have been looking at ones I like we are often offered samples but havn’t made appointments and chosen flavors. But even just looking is hard with the kid in tow. I try to offer that maybe it’d be better to do it another time but she always says, oh he’ll be fine.
I would gladly pay for a a babysitter so that we can go out and do these things without divided focus. How can I offer this as an option without seeming snobby.
It is important to me that she be there for these decisions I’m making. Because ultimately in the end I want her to feel that she grealty attributed to making my day special.
Post # 9
@truefrommetoyou has is right. There are times when I’d LOVE to get away from watching my kid for a few hours for some girl time (I think most moms feel this way), but it can’t always happen. I know that we don’t have anyone to watch our kid – no sitters, no family within 3 hours, and I’m sure as heck not leaving her with anyone I don’t know. So we organize things when her dad can watch her, or bring her with us. That’s just the way it is. When I first started planning, I felt like I should run most decisions by my Maid/Matron of Honor, who has kids of her own. Then I realized that just because she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean she’s obligated to be part of every single plan.