Post # 1
<font face=”Arial” size=”2″>My fiance and I are getting married on May 1, 2011 in Punta Cana, DR. We’ve known for sometime now and have told all of our closest friends. I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor and she accepted. But I don’t think she’ll be able to make it and i’m hurt since I’m giving her almost two years notice. My best friend has a son (my godson) and a fiancé. Her fiancé has been out of work for sometime and yesterday she just found out that she has to payback $3300 that was overpaid to her by her job. Also, when my fiance and I get married, my godson will be 5 and in school and she’s worried she won’t have anyone to bring him back and forth to school since her mom and dad do not drive. My fiance and I have told her and her fiancé that we were getting married in 2011 back in March. They said they would definitely go. About a month ago, my Fiance and I decided that we would have an at-home ceremony here a couple weeks before we go so that our immediate family can see us get married and also so we don’t have to go through the whole paperwork process of getting married in DR. My Fiance is an only child so his mother really wants to see us get married. Of course, our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man would be at the AHC too. When I told my best friend about the AHC she said she was relieved because she didn’t think she’d be able to make it to the Wedding in DR. I know that etiquette wise I’m not supposed to be disappointed or upset but I just feel that i’m giving her ample time to save money and I think she should be there no matter what. Am I being selfish? She went away last year with her Fiance on a cruise for 10 days and left her son with her parents. The cruise also costs double of our wedding. I really feel like I’m being selfish but I also think that seeing as she’s my best friend and said yes to being my Maid/Matron of Honor, she should atleast try to make it. Any suggestions on what to do?</font>
Post # 3
I honestly think it is a little premature to stress about this now. A lot can change in two years. Heck, she could win the lotto! I wouldn’t do anything too drastic now, and just let it sit for a while. No need to cause a rift at this point. But I do see where you’re coming from…
Post # 4
This is tough. I think you definitely are justified in feeling the way you do. I would also be disappointed and upset if my MOH/best friend did that to me. Unfortunately I don’t think you can be too mad if she says she can’t afford it. Times are tough in this economy and you said yourself her fiance has been out of work and they have a child. Also she did just find out she needs to pay back 3300 dollars that she probably doesn’t have. She may have gone on a cruise just a bit ago but that was different time and she may have been able to afford it then, just like she probably thought she could when she accepted your offer to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. Money situations can change really quickly. Would you and your Fiance ever be willing to front them the money if it means that much that they be there?
Post # 5
I would love to be able to pay for my Maid/Matron of Honor and her fiance to come with us because I know that times are tight right now. The only problem with that is we’re saving for the wedding itself and all the little things that will make it special for our guests. We’ve decided on a destination wedding because we don’t want to pay a fortune on a wedding in the states. I know our wedding is far off and it’s premature to even think about it at this point but to me, it’ll be here before you know it. The reason why we’re waiting so long is because we do realize that with the economy, it’ll be hard for our friends to save with short notice. We also know that if we planned it for 2010 year that some of our guests that really want to be there might not be able to make it due to financial reasons. So maybe I am being a little selfish about the whole thing. Maybe I shouldn’t expect my bff to be there. One way to fix it is not having a Maid/Matron of Honor at my DR wedding. I guess I really don’t need one there. Anyone else in this situation?