(Closed) My maid of honour still isnt talking to me cos of the stupid dress

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Wait- are you saying that your Maid/Matron of Honor is upset that you bought your wedding dress without her?? That’s not a mistake- you have every right/reason to do that.

Post # 4
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@rebwana:  agreed. especially since it was on sale!

I’m sorry she’s acting that way, OP. I hope she comes around.

Post # 5
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rebwana:  Agreed. 

She does realize that she’s not the one getting married right? She needs to grow up. 

I only took my mom and didn’t even bother to ask anyone else because it was easier to schedule. 

Post # 9
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree you have ever right to pick your dress whenever and with who ever you want. I’ve actually been on both sides of this, as when my best friend got married I couldn’t make it on the day she wanted to try on dresses but could go the follwing week, but she found the dress she wanted (on sale) and got it. I wished I could have been part of that experience, but she was happy and it was her dress and wedding. A few years later I tried to include her in the dress shopping, but it wouldn’t have worked out for ordering my dress on time – I went without her and got the dress on sale. 

She is acting a bit out of line, but if she isn’t married or engaged maybe she just doesn’t get it? Maybe try to decompress the situation by offering to go veil and shoe shopping with her (but you are under no obligation to buy anything just because she is there), or go do something with her not wedding related to take your mind off the whole thing. Sorry about the situation. 

Post # 10
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@c0l0urful1:  ….You did the right thing, that dress is beautiful!!!!!!

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

WHAT??? She has no right to be mad at you because you bought your dress without her. She owes you the apology.. I only brought my mom when i went dress shopping. As other bees have mentioned you did the right thing buying that dress when you did.

Post # 13
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@c0l0urful1:  Wow, she is SO out of line with this! (And I also agree, the dress is gorgeous)

I ended up buying my dress a week after we got engaged. Maid/Matron of Honor had a bridal shop recommendation from a friend who does event planning, and we went in for what I thought was my first browsing appointment. Twelve dresses later, I bought a sample, that like yours, was an incredible sale, and needs minimal alterations! Ideally, I would have loved to have shown it to my Mom beforehand (especially if I was going to order it), but we knew *this* was the dress, and I wasn’t going to walk out of the store without it (plus, having a short engagement meant I didn’t have a lot of time.)  

I really don’t get her comments about being “left in the dark,” and that she “wishes weddings were easy.” Maybe she wants/needs to work out what her/your expectations are, for her role as MOH? She’s probably so excited for you, and is disappointed that she didn’t get to help with this, but like you said, it wasn’t intentional!  

Post # 14
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the others. I also purchased my dress without my girls – it was just so much easier since my girls are spread out all over the U.S.

To help keep everyone on the same page and to include everyone, I started a private facebook page just for the girls. I can post ideas and keep them in the loop with regards to my DIY projects and other stuff. They can chime in with thoughts and ideas as well. It’s helped a lot.

 

Post # 15
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree with everyone else, she has no right to be mad. She needs to grow up and be there for you, if not she doesn’t deserve to be your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 16
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think she is really out of line to be upset about this. That being said I had a really hard time following your letter.

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