(Closed) *MY* Mama Drama

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7222 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@badabing88:  Ugh. Totally rude and selfish of her. I would seriously just say “I’m sorry. I have plans that can’t be changed” via text and then not answer her calls. I might even wait until Friday night to do so. 

Post # 5
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

@badabing88:  You know what, at some point, you are going to have to say no.  And this might be that point.  It sucks to have a mom like this!!  🙁

Post # 6
Member
7222 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@badabing88:  Yeah… I’m the queen of giving advice I’d never have the balls to do myself. 😛 My mom was forever telling me I had to do things for her at the last minute. In reality, I would probably tell her I’d be there early on Saturday and would have to leave after a few hours. Then remind her when you get there that you only have 3 hours. Have SO drop you off and pick you up. Then freaking run when time’s up.

Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee

My two cents here as someone who has had to set boundaries with my own mother!  Last year, I sent her an email clearly delineating the behaviours that had to stop and what the consequences were. I then promptly enforced them.  It was really hard and awkward (hello, you’re an ADULT!) but it’s much better now.

 

 

My suggestion: Tell her that she already had a chance and you missed a day of work because of her and can’t/won’t be doing it again.  Tell her flat out that from now on she needs to give you one weeks (or some other time frame) notice AND that you will decline all offers that don’t give sufficient notice.  Also, be very clear that IF she terrorizes you and has unacceptable behaviour, you will be blocking her phone calls, texts and emails until the event has passed.  And STICK TO IT.  It’s hard the first time but like children, once they realize you mean what you say, they begin to stop being so manipulative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I won’t pretend that this is easy but eventually if you put up with enough *** in your life, you realize that it has to change and you’re the only one with the power to change it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GOOD LUCK!

 

 

ETA: You should never have to give her an excuse for why you can’t do something. Stick with something along the lines of “I’m sorry but you didn’t give me sufficient notice and I have plans.” “Oh, what plans?  Just plans that can’t be broken. I’m free next Sunday though.”

Post # 9
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

@badabing88:  Yeah, you do NOT owe her any of this!!  It sounds like she really has never been there for you at all.  I don’t know why she expects you to be there for her. 

The topic ‘*MY* Mama Drama’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors