Post # 1
my mom has been telling me for years that if i ever get married that i best be eloping( i was in a long term relationship for nine years before this one) and that i shouldnt get married and blah blah blah. my parents are divorced so she still harbours some resentment and by some i mean like a semi load following behind her. so cut to planning a wedding, for someone who never wanted me to get married in the first place she has sooo many opinions about how we should be doing it. you cant wear a short dress,you cant wear a cardigan, you cant have pie instead of cake, you cant have a self serve bar, you have to give guests a +1, you have to have a seating chart, what do you mean your not doing speeches?, ugh, the list goes on and on. she makes me crazy. anyone else get a surprise behavior out of their parents when they started planning?
Post # 3
My mother and family were so crazy I did elope.
I would stop including her in the planning. After decisions are made tell her what’s going on. It sounds like nothing is going to make her happy so at this point let it roll of your shoulders. Have the day YOU want that makes YOU happy.
Post # 4
YES. My mother turned a bit crazy too. I was shocked at how much she CARED about things that I never thought she’d care about.
Post # 5
@troublesmom: Wow….she would really loathe my wedding. Good thing I didn’t invite her. 😉
My mom eloped and she’s been surprisingly sentimental about silly stuff. Like, she’s insisting i have a fancy $300 cake. I’M CAMPING. Where am I supposed to store this thing?? And I was supposed to have a veil according to her but I fought that one off too. Just be firm and reasonable with her. Make her see why pie and cardigans make you feel happy and then be firm. PIE. CARDIGAN. But try to give her a couple of things that she wants if they’re not that important to you. Like a tiered cake. *headdesk*
Post # 6
So funny. My mom was *mostly* reasonable, given that we were having it at her house. But there were a few moments that made me look at her like she’d lost her damn mind. Notably one where she suggested, in front of my Future In-Laws, that I lose a little weight to fit into my not-yet-made wedding dress. (Which was being custom made for me by a friend, so it’s not like she couldn’t adjust it to my actual body.)
This was my awesome, loving, positive, feminist mom. I was like, “who are you, and what have you done with my real mother?”
Post # 7
I thought my mom would be like this (and to tell you the truth I was looking forward to spending a lot of time with her trying to figure out details) but she basically gave us some financial help and remains very hands off.
Post # 8
You mom sounds like my grandmother, but I TOTALLY expect it. I have a mantra that goes something like this: “I respect your opinion but this is what we have chosen to do and this is the right decision for us.”
Post # 9
Sounds like she is basing her opinions on weddings from HER time. Just make decisions and tell her about them afterward or just…don’t tell her! Let it be a surprise.
Post # 10
My mom is doing the same thing and its driving me nuts! She is also divorced and says I shouldnt get married, yet she has all these opnions. I think it stems from my grandmother planning her wedding and she didnt have any say on things. So I feel like shes living through me sometimes.
But anyways, I finally put my foot down and she’s backed off a little bit, but I did give in to a few things just to shut her up. That sounds terrible. I love my mom, but with wedding stuff, shes driving me up a wall!
Best of luck!