(Closed) my man never wants sex

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@ashasmith:  Your man should think you are beautiful and make you feel beautiful. If my SO said something like that to me I would walk out the door. What a jerk!

Post # 4
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

That’s awful, I think you should sit him down and explain to him just how hurtfull it can be to hear negative things about your body. 

Now obviously you love eachother if you are engaged, but I had a similar situation with my exboyfriend and when I was with him, my self-image just deteriorated. It can be a form of verbal and mental abuse – make sure before you marry him you explain how much he’s hurting you! 

Post # 5
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

He shouldn’t ever say something like that to you. 🙁 I had an ex-boyfriend that made comments about my weight too, even though I was only 130 pounds. After he said something about it to me just once, I never could forget about what he said. It really affected my self-esteem for years. Don’t let him talk to you like that!

Post # 6
Member
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

That is terrible. Your man should make you feel beautiful regardless of how you look. The way he’s talking to you and treating you sounds abusive.

Post # 7
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

WTF! Its not even the him not wanting sex thing that bothers me (i want it more then my Fiance too) but I would END him if THAT was the reason. He’s told me he’d want it more if I wore such and such more often and he says he would if HE was skinnier but not ME! i’d absolutely die if he used that as a reason to not want to have sex with me. He doesn’t sound like he’s even attracted to you – that would concern me the most.

With that being said -Men can say a lot of stupid things they don’t mean – so just talk to him and get the facts.

Post # 8
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry he hurt your feelings but he’s probably just being honest with you and didn’t mean it in a mean way. If he said it gently and not with a mean tone in his voice then I don’t see anything wrong with his honesty. He’s probably concerned for your health, as well. 

It really depends how he said it for me.  It also depends on what size you were when you guys met.  Have you recently gained weight?

It happens that sometimes people no longer are attracted to their SOs anymore – for various reasons, not just weight or physical looks.  At this point it may be time to reevaluate the relationship if one partner or the other isn’t happy anymore.

Post # 9
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Tell him his pee-pee is too small Tongue Out

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with the previous poster!!! But, in all seriousness you shouldn’t allow him to speak to you this way. It’s degrading and hurtful. If he loved and care for you as he says and should he should lift you up and not tear you down.

Post # 11
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ashasmith:  Totally uncalled for on his part and tactless, theres a proper way to bring up topics, and witholding sex is not one of them. But you mentioned that you are 195? Have you gained weight since you two have been together?

Post # 12
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s an awful thing to say.  He should want to make love to you no matter what! If I were you, I would be very upset with him!!!

Post # 13
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Doesn’t matter if you gained weight, lost weight, grew another arm…real love and marriage mean taking on anything life brings. You need a man to love you any way you are. What happens when he gets older and maybe loses his hair or sprouts hair in his ears? Or, God forbid, one of you has a disfiguring accident? No sex anymore??

It sounds like this man is too focused on shallow things…I say find a real man who loves you for who you are and what you can do for him 😉

I’m heavier than when we met and my husband has MS. I’d love and desire him in any condition and that’s how he loves me. Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t mature enough to really love you.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@ashasmith:  Punch him in the face and storm out of his house. What an a**hole!

Post # 15
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MrsWBS:  I actually have to agree with this. If one partner has a drastic weight change, the other partner may not be as physically attracted to that person any more. It doesn’t mean they’re shallow or immature or not a real man or that they love their partner any less, it just means physically they aren’t as attracted. It happens. This guy probably could have gone about it in a nicer way, but if he’s being honest, I can’t tear the man down. Honesty is pretty freaking important in a relationship, even if you don’t like what the person is saying.

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