(Closed) My marriage is failing and I'm terrified of losing him

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Sugarpug2012:  Your man, is not happy because you are not giving him “pleasure.”


No, her man is not happy because he has DEPRESSION and has been considering suicide.  

He ingores her all night while he plays video games, then expects her to “put out.”  If he wants sex, he should do something about it.  First and foremost, he should get treatment for his depression.  Then he should read the book the OP asked him to read several months ago, so he can find out how to meet HER needs.  She is just as important in this relationship as he is, and her needs, sexual or otherwise, are just as important as his.  If he starts meeting her emotional needs, she will more than likely feel the love, acceptance, and affection she needs to WANT to have sex.

He doesn’t just get to sit on his ass all day, demand sex, and then pout when she doesn’t want to.

Post # 34
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Miss Apricot:  + 1,00000! The whole mindset that a woman should just give it up because the man wants it is so assbackwards I can’t even go there. If he wants it then HE needs to put in the WORK. Yes, the work because a woman is not just a walking, talking vagina. That is his wife who has needs too, emotional ones that he is not meeting. There is no one right or wrong in this situation, they just need to work on their issues together. The OP is far from the only one who has struggled with this and I say kudos to her for wanting to put in the work to keep her marriage thriving, but her H has to put in the work too. 

Post # 35
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Miss Apricot:  +1  AGREED!

 

Look, many relationships have periods when the sex drives won’t match up.  The way to get through that is to love and support, communicate, and figure out how to meet each other’s needs.  The OP shouldn’t have to put out to her husband just because he’s her husband.  Her husband needs to make her feel loved, too.  A person who feels loved is going to feel like having sex more with their partner.  OP’s trying to improve the state of the relationship, while the OP’S husband isn’t helping himself or trying to improve relationship.  I hope the counseling helps them.

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