(Closed) My MIL has breast cancer.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Could you and your Darling Husband offer to take care of your Father-In-Law while your Mother-In-Law recovers?

My mom has cancer… and its an awful thing to watch someone go through.

Post # 5
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ellebeerob:  So sorry to hear this. 🙁 The best thing you can do is just to be there for your Darling Husband. My Darling Husband lost his mom in 2009 to breast cancer. I never got to meet her :- All i can really do is comfort my Darling Husband, because he gets upset sometimes thinking about her. He always says he wished I could have met her.

However, I think she should really think about the surgery. It could save her life. Maybe you & Darling Husband could talk to her? Maybe one of you could help her in her recovery?

Post # 6
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

im so sorry. maybe you and your husband could talk to her about getting treatment.  Breast Cancer (depending on what stage) can be VERY treatable. You guys could come up with a plan to help her take care of her husband and her.  I’m not sure what that plan would be and it won’t be easy with a new baby but it would be worth everything to me and I’m sure to you and your husband, too.  Don’t let her walk away from the treatment so easily!  I know it’s her choice but maybe you guys can help her work through the decision.

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ellebeerob:  That would be great if ya’ll could do that. Make sure she knows that it’s something you both want to do because you love her, so that she doesn’t feel like a burden of any kind.

Post # 9
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.  Cancer is rough.  So scary with so many unknowns.  My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this past summer and just finished all her chemo.  She is having her surgery next month.   And then she’s going to have radiation.  It’s so weird seeing her go through all of this, but also needing her help with wedding planning stuff. I feel silly to think about my own wedding and stuff when what she’s been dealing with is so much more serious and scary.  But I really think she likes having the distraction, the regular life to help her get through it.

I think the fact that you’re having a baby (Congrats!!!) will be so helpful to her.  Something to look forward to, something to think about besides her health and how crummy she might feel.  If you can, you should really talk to her about her decision about surgery – is there any way you or your husband could help her out some post surgery?  Also, at least with the surgery my mom is having, there is a built-in tummy tuck!  Not exactly a selling point, since it is still surgery and crappy, but my mom is actually a little excited about it!  

Anyway, what I mean to say is it sucks, but you can get all through it.  Be there for her the best you can, but also make sure to tell her about your life as she goes through stuff.  Cancer sucks.  But people are strong and can get through tough times.  I want to say good luck, but don’t want it to come off weird.  Your family will be in my thoughts.

Post # 11
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m so sorry 🙁

Post # 12
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When I was 12 years old my mother’s sister developed breast cancer. She was gone a year later, she never got any treatment and it broke my mother’s heart. I would urge your Mother-In-Law to go to a good oncologist/breast cancer specialist NOW, there are treatments/options she can consider. God bless you – “hugs”.

Post # 13
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Perhaps your DH’s mom is speaking out of a place of shock, and dismay.  But certainly, share with her your helpful hands, and warm thoughts.  Tell her that you will be there, just as much as you want her there for her grandchild.  Share your tears.  Communication and coming together as a family is exactly what will get you all thru it. 

I lost my mom to cancer, not breast, a year ago.  It was NOT an easy journey, but she fought like hell for 2 years – and did everything she could have done to try to beat it.  I can remember the day I told her it was OK to stop, because I knew she had had enough.  Without those words, I think she still would have fought. 

We spent those 2 years celebrating milestones, and crying about our fears and concerns.  I was thankful to have that time, and honestly, had she chosen something ‘different’ – had she chosen to live 6 months without doing a thing, I do not think now I would have begrudged her.  BUT, I can only say that because I witnessed the battle – from the sickness, to the sores, to the blood clots to a massive stroke; all because of the chemo she received.  That makes my opinion a tad biased.

As fas as your Darling Husband, and what to do…sadly, there is nothing you can do, but BE THERE.  Be sympathetic to one another needs/wants, knowing that sadness/anger/etc will overcome each of you at different times, in different ways.  There may be days he wants to share his struggle, or visa versa, similiar to there will be days he may not want to talk about it all.  Everyone’s journey is different.  I have 2 sisters, and our reactions over the course of time are completely different.  I can not change it, but accept it.

Cancer is not a death sentence.  There are great medical advancements in the field, but those medical advancements are really rough.  I truly believe attitude is the entire battle.  And so, as a family, I hope you feed off one another strengths and weaknesses when and where you can.  And reach out to those around you for support and courage.  I wish you all the best of luck.  I am so sorry about your news 🙁

Post # 14
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I sent you a PM. 

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