Perhaps your DH’s mom is speaking out of a place of shock, and dismay. But certainly, share with her your helpful hands, and warm thoughts. Tell her that you will be there, just as much as you want her there for her grandchild. Share your tears. Communication and coming together as a family is exactly what will get you all thru it.
I lost my mom to cancer, not breast, a year ago. It was NOT an easy journey, but she fought like hell for 2 years – and did everything she could have done to try to beat it. I can remember the day I told her it was OK to stop, because I knew she had had enough. Without those words, I think she still would have fought.
We spent those 2 years celebrating milestones, and crying about our fears and concerns. I was thankful to have that time, and honestly, had she chosen something ‘different’ – had she chosen to live 6 months without doing a thing, I do not think now I would have begrudged her. BUT, I can only say that because I witnessed the battle – from the sickness, to the sores, to the blood clots to a massive stroke; all because of the chemo she received. That makes my opinion a tad biased.
As fas as your Darling Husband, and what to do…sadly, there is nothing you can do, but BE THERE. Be sympathetic to one another needs/wants, knowing that sadness/anger/etc will overcome each of you at different times, in different ways. There may be days he wants to share his struggle, or visa versa, similiar to there will be days he may not want to talk about it all. Everyone’s journey is different. I have 2 sisters, and our reactions over the course of time are completely different. I can not change it, but accept it.
Cancer is not a death sentence. There are great medical advancements in the field, but those medical advancements are really rough. I truly believe attitude is the entire battle. And so, as a family, I hope you feed off one another strengths and weaknesses when and where you can. And reach out to those around you for support and courage. I wish you all the best of luck. I am so sorry about your news 🙁