- 7 years ago
We are newlyweds, buying our first house and living together for the first time.
We have saved like thre’s no tomorrow and can thankfully afford what we need.
First is appliances. Well, what may sound like a nice gesture is not quite. Mother-In-Law said she would buy our kitchen appliances.
Of course, that means my husband and her out shopping, having that experience together that he and I should be having.
I told him right off the bat “well that is nice but we are going to be getting what WE want…” I didn’t sugar coat or anything, I cut to the chase. He just said yeah ok.
But I just know they will be out being husband and wife shopping for OUR house.
If my inlaws weren’t controlling this would NOT be a big deal. You have to trust me on this 🙁
My problem is that this crap gets me so crazy and I say things to my husband that make him not want to even talk to me. (I say things like how it is: you just do what she wants, etc. and he does not like to hear that)
One thing being we decided on one style of appliances… we were all set and it was a choice we made together by MUCH window shopping.
Now all of a sudden he says oh no those get dirty easy, oh well, I mean I didn’t ever say I was definitely getting this!
BULL CRAP! His mother had the negative comment and now he is on board with her. Everything we choose is always like I’m shopping with his mother. He adopts HER tastes and HER preferences.
I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do.
Tonight i plan to say to him “that’s nice of her but we are buying these… If she would like to help we will most graciously accept her help in the form of money.
But I worry they will still go out and do their husband/wife thing. I worry because before we started looking at houses his mom took JUST HIM out looking. They just have this air about them that makes me totally uncomfortable.
He then feels unauthentic to me. I feel like he’s not real, like he’s just a carbon copy of his mother.
I hope we can get into couseling. I just don’t know what to say, I get overly emotional. I feel like as newlyweds this is a project for US. Not his mom and him. She thinks she will swoop on in offering to pay, but at the price of going with just him.
And when he told me this, he said that she said she would buy him these appliances… not us… but him. I am no in this equation (surprise!)