My MOB hates my wedding venue!

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6060 posts
Bee Keeper

“The decision has been made, time to move on.” 

Just stop discussing it with her. Thats really the only way. 

Post # 3
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

therealmrslane :  Sorry you’re dealing with that! I would tell her you and your Fiance love the venue and aren’t planning to change it, and try to change the subject if she brings it up. Also, you could mention to her that it’s available as a wedding venue and the seniors are probably used to that, the venue isn’t going to charge someone good money and then let residents crash their wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

If they are not paying it doesn’t matter what they think. If they are then you may need to compromise if you need their financial help. Money often comes with strings. 

Post # 5
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Set boundaries bee.  Has she always been overbearing like this?  I have a feeling that this behavior isn’t new but I could be wrong.  Either way….tell her if she can’t behave she can’t be involved…and you have to mean it.  See if that changes her tune.

Post # 8
Member
47172 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Stop being an audience for her complaints. It doesn’t matter that you are the only daughter. We all have to set boundaries with our parents at some time. Now is your time.

Post # 9
Member
9325 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

No advice on your mom, but I’ve been to a very similar type of venue and it was no issue at all.

Post # 10
Member
9623 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

don’t let her hijack this, especially if it isnt in your budget.  Unless she’s willing to pay the difference, demanding you spend more is insane.

Set up boundaries now, or else I’m willing to bet she’s going to do this with every single vendor until you’re way in the red.

Post # 11
Member
6733 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

therealmrslane :  Who’s paying? If she’s paying, she obviously has a say. If not, then you need to be more firm with her when you make your decisions. 

 

Post # 12
Member
6733 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

amanda1988 :  “Unless she’s willing to pay the difference”

I wouldn’t even give her this suggestion. Next thing you know OP’s mom will think she can just throw money at it and plan whatever she wants. 

Post # 13
Member
9104 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As an only daughter who only has a daughter, you’re giving your mother too much authority here. This is your wedding, not hers. It doesn’t matter if she imagined you getting married on the moon.

“Getting her onboard” shouldn’t be an option. The only option should be, “I made this decision, mom. This is where I want to get married.”

Post # 14
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

therealmrslane :  Yeah, you’ll probably have to leave her completely out of the planning process at this point.  She gets no access to vendors, girlfriends or anyone who can provide info.  If she does they should have orders to direct any inquiries back to you on your orders.  So you basically control all avenues into this wedding.  When she comes to you do your best to be upfront and honest with her.  She needs to know this is coming from you and no one else. 

I know you feel majorly uncomfortable doing this (she raised you to cave to her demands you know) but you will be much better off and it may actually improve your relationship with her.  Make her see you as an adult. 

Post # 15
Member
9623 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

llevinso :  true that.  I just guess if OP did like one of the more expensive venues but just hadnt been able to afford it I could see agreeing with mom to go back to one of them if the budget changed.  But yeah especially since OP said mom is always overbaring.. ehhh.

 

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