(Closed) My MOH backed out of my wedding 2 weeks before the wedding

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@hpsporty:  So she went to Vegas before your wedding.  So what?  You seem to be missing the point of having 1 day.  Like the PPs said, she’s not your slave!  It sounds like you’ve just been being a bridezilla and demanding too much of her.  Perhaps it got too much for her.

Post # 18
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Aurora403:  +1. It seems like brides are not allowed any expectations or hurt feelings. Granted, BMs don’t HAVE to do shit but I’m sure it still sucks to not even get a dinner out. People usually do more for freaking bdays! 

Post # 19
Member
2910 posts
Sugar bee

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@Aurora403:  (I can’t think of any brides that wouldn’t be a little dissapointed that no one threw her a bachelorette party.)

Eh, I got married 16 years ago without a bachelorette party and couldn’t have cared less. I had a lovely, small tea party for a shower and it was great. I absolutely think that if a bachelorette party is important to a bride, that’s valid, but let’s not paint everyone with the same brush. 

Post # 20
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Jijitattoo:  But yet SOMEONE threw you that lovely tea party right?  Does it matter whether it’s a tea party, bachelorette party, shower, ladies lunch, mani/pedis with the girls, etc., etc., etc.?  It still SOMEONE acknowledging your special occasion and celebrating you.  So why bash the OP for being disappointed (not saying you in particular did)? 

I wonder how many posters telling you to get over it had showers, bachelorettes, etc. thrown for them…Undecided

Post # 21
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@hpsporty:  so she went to Vegas instead of handling your final touches?  It’s not her wedding it’s yours.  I don’t get that thinking at all.  It’s wonderful if people help out but to get pissed off if they don’t sounds like an episode of Bridezilla. 

If she offers then you snatch her up for help, if not ….. her standing up there for you should be the important thing.  When these “roles” in a wedding party were created no one had help out very much. 

Did you read the sticky in the Bridesmaids section of WB?  

Post # 22
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

OP: You did have a shower though right. It might not have been planned by your Maid/Matron of Honor, but you had one. I think your other posts about your Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor paint a much different picture then you did here:(

Post # 23
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think some of you posters are being too harsh. The Maid/Matron of Honor overreacted she didn’t fire her she quit. all she said was she was disapointed b.c of her lack of interest in the wedding and the planning. im not sure why you are being so rude? No its not the Maid/Matron of Honor duties to throw a party but the fact she said she was going to and she failed at it would be disappointing bride does not seem to be a bridezilla or anything? 

 

Im sorry this has happened two weeks before this totally sucks 🙁

Post # 24
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Aurora403:  +1

Post # 25
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@BearcatBetch:  I considered dropping out of a wedding a couple days before it. I’d had enough of the bs surrounding the wedding. I imagine there’s more to this.

Post # 26
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@jpalm13:  there might be. i was just surprised by the negativity towards the bride when i read this. we can’t just assume that there is more 2 it. I just feel like from what iv read i don’t understand the harshness we are supposed to help, her wedding is in two weeks and we are suppose to help and we aren’t helping at all. we are hurting and probably stressing her out even more. 

Post # 27
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@BearcatBetch:  I completely agree with you.  What is with the harshness towards brides lately?  We don’t have to be rainbows and sunshine with every response but SHEESH!  WHERE are brides supposed to get support without being told “no one cares about your wedding”, “no one owes you shit”, “BMs don’t have to do anything including wear the dress you pick” (and YES I have even seen people bash brides for daring to want their BMs to wear a dress they chose)????  As I get closer to my day I find myself coming here for advice less and less because I don’t need strangers coming down on me for daring to have FEELINGS!

OP – Sorry to threadjack.  I’m sorry your Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out.  Try talking to her again or sending her a note apologizing for any misunderstandings, etc.  And realize that ultimately, your wedding is your (and your FI’s) responsibility and no one elses.  If people offer to help, great! But they are not obligated to.  Hopefully accepting that will make it easier to not get upset about the trip to Vegas, lack of bachelorette party, etc.  Good luck to you.

Post # 28
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes I agree with alot of you. Some of you are way too harsh. Chillax.

Weddings are stressful for everybody in the wedding party at somepoint.

In your post you said your Maid/Matron of Honor did not send out the invitations. Did she offer or agree to before hand? Cause if she did, then you have more than enough reason to be upset at that part at least.

Post # 29
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OP, I just want to say that I’m sorry this has happened with your Maid/Matron of Honor two weeks before the wedding. If your Maid/Matron of Honor offered to help plan the bachelorette party, and didn’t end up planning anything, I can totally see why you would be disappointed. I also think you have every right to be upset about her going to Vegas two days before your wedding because you specifically asked her if she could come out early to help you with wedding things, and she said yes. 

I’m in the camp too that bridesmaids should just show up wearing the dress, however, if someone offers or agrees to help out, then doesn’t follow through, the bride should have every right to be upset. 

I hope you are able to work things out. 

Post # 31
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@hpsporty:  Sorry this happened to you.  It sucks that there is only 2 weeks left to your wedding.  I don’t want to take side on this as people said a lot of things on both side already.

I guess my question to you is: where do you want to go from here?  Do you still want to salvage the friendship?  If you do, you might have to reach out to her in person to talk to her about it. 

 

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