Post # 1
I am getting married in less than 90 days. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister who I love dearly but is not quite as interested in the wedding as I thought she’d be. My aunt has volunteered to do the bridal shower. I talked to my Maid/Matron of Honor and suggested that she help with the planning. That was 2 weeks ago. My aunt has since then asked me directly for names, addresses, where I’m registred, and decorations that I’d like. When I got together with her a coupld days ago, she asked “Well, so when is the bridal shower? Do I hafta do alot?” I was kinda miffed that she hadn’t talked with my aunt yet but I told myself that she has been busy with work and such.
Now my church member (the church is in my home town about an hour away from me) has volunteered and wants to have a bridal shower up there since I have friends up there too. I think it’s a great idea. My sister actually asked “Why do you need two showers? You don’t need two showers. Do I have to help out with that one too?” I was a little hurt but I shrugged it off.
This weekend while putting the dress on for the first time in 4 months, the consultants were showing my Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man and mom how to lace me up. My Bridesmaid or Best Man whispered “I don’t think your sister cares.” I turned to see her primping in the mirror while everyone else was learning. When I got in the car, I asked her if she’ll remember everything they taught her today to which she said “No, someone else will lace you up.”
What should I do? The first bridal shower is less than 2 weeks away. How can I tell her to step it up without becoming Bridezilla in the process? Am I over reacting to this? How should I handle it?
Post # 3
@YarnPrincess: unless you’re prepared to demote her then i don’t think ou can really do much about her attitude–maybe a heart to heart about your feelings being hurt instead of making it a criticism of her.
Post # 4
How old is she? If she hasn’t been in or really even to a lot of weddings before, she may not realize what’s expected of her.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
You should let it go. Hopefully you didn’t choose her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor because she would throw a good party or lace you up well. These are non-issues, so there’s no sense in making them into issues.
Post # 6
@YarnPrincess: In my world, IF I was having a bridal party, the premise of it would be “hey, I like you alot! I want you to stand with me at my wedding and have fun with me.” I would place absolutely ZERO expectations on showers/bachelorette parties/etc.
While I understand I’m not the norm, I do understand my bridesmaids would by my bridesmaids bc I enjoy their company, not because I expect them to plan parties or be in awe of every aspect of my wedding. They have lives, too, and I’m sure my wedding isnt NEARLY as interesting for them as it is for me.
My point: just enjoy having them next to you to have a great time at your wedding, no expectations. Especially with your sister. It’s not worth the drama.
Post # 7
Thank you for all your help. I understand that my sister, who is 24 and never has been in a wedding, is not trying to be mean in any way. I will definately have a heart to heart talk. It’s funny though, my mom and Bridesmaid or Best Man are so excited, sometimes they are more into the planning more than I am. Thank you again.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t fight with her about it. I would talk to her and let her know she is hurting your feelings. You don’t want your wedding day to be ruined because she still is not showing any interest in you or what you want for YOUR wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister too but she lives in MA and Im in NC. I don’t expect her to do anything. I am a little bit of a control freak though and I am planning my own bachelorette. Just a few of us girls going on a weekend getaway to the beach. I am already asking my girls to spend a lot on the wedding in general so I don’t want to ask them to do must else.
Post # 9
My Maid/Matron of Honor lives in CA, bridesmaid in VT, bridesman in MD and I’m in NY, so I don’t expect to have a bridal shower or bachelorette party. They help me with wedding planning as best as they can from afar. It’s mostly sending pics to get a second opinion. They’re already flying to the wedding and purchasing their dresses, so I don’t expect them to do much else except celebrate the day with me!
I’m sure you’d like your sister to be more excited for your day, but she doesn’t spend her days thinking about wedding details like we have to so she probably isn’t as into the planning process. I’m sure she’ll show more excitement on the day of the wedding when the festivities happen!