- 11 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
I need some help and I apologize if this is too long. My maid of honor is my best friend and we have been friends for over 10 years. I am getting married this September and as soon as I got engaged, I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She does live in a different state than I do, so I did not expect her to do much in the way of helping me plan the wedding, etc. I did, however, expect her to at least be there for me, if I needed to vent, get an opinion on something, stuff like that. I also expected that if the rest of my bridesmaids reached out to her for information, etc. that she would at least respond to them. So far, she has done nothing. She is never there for me, the only time I talk to her is to discuss the drama going on in her life (she’s been separated for a year and her divorce is coming up in the next few months), and the drama isn’t just about her divorce, it also includes new boyfriends every other week, going out and partying, friend drama, etc. I have been there with her through everything that she has gone through and supported her as much as I can. So my cousin, who is a bridesmaid, emailed the Maid/Matron of Honor and asked her if she had plans to do any type of bridal shower. Instead of responding and saying no, she just ignored the email. My cousin has since taken up the task of the bridal shower. My Maid/Matron of Honor used the excuse that she is out of state, but my cousin is actually further away from me than she is. But, the point was that she could at least respond to the numerous emails that she got.
Since then, the bridesmaids and I have been doing conference calls to keep in touch, make plans for the bachelorette party and shower, and just to make sure that I don’t need anything. Only 2 of 6 bridesmaids live in the same state that I do, so it is hard, but the out of state bridesmaids all want to help…they’ve offered to do so much, but my Maid/Matron of Honor has not offered to do anything. She won’t even call in on the conference calls. Everyone calls but her, even my mom and my aunt are included. I asked her specifically to at least make the effort to call in. I even reminded her right before the designated time, but she ignored me and then apologized after the fact.
I don’t know what else to do other than just drop her as a MOH or just do away with her all together. I don’t want her to turn me into a bridezilla. She acknowledges the fact that she isn’t there for me and that she is letting her problems get in the way of being there for me, but she doesn’t do anything to fix it. When she got married, I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and I did everything I could to help her. We lived in different states then, too and I spent hours on the phone with her, searching the internet, talking her through things, etc. I wasn’t in a great place at the time, but my love for her was more important than my misery.
Am I being too selfish? Should I just drop it and accept the fact that she won’t do anything at all? Any suggestions??
Thanks, all. 🙂