(Closed) My MOH is acting SOOO off. What do I do?!?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Basically, she wants to feel important without the responsibility.  Like give the Maid/Matron of Honor title,share with me all your plans so I can compare with my wedding. But I won’t do anything because I’m all talk no work.  

Sorry OP.  

Post # 3
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think if I were in your position, I would sit down with here face to face, one last time, and ask her what’s going on.

I would use very specific examples of times she’s stood me up, not replied to messages, etc so she knows exactly what you’re talking about. Tell her that you would still love to move forward with her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, and then let her know what is left to be done, or let her know that all you need now is for her to stand with you on the big day, whatever it is you want from her. Give her a chance to say her piece. Clarify that you understand her clearly. What does she want to do? Anything at all? Just show up the day of? Plan and host the bachelorette? Or not? Or has she changed her mind and would she like to back down?

Don’t part ways until you guys have agreed together what the expectations are moving forward. Be kind and understanding, no matter what the outcome. I don’t know what to else to tell you. She sounds frustrating. 

Post # 4
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
swirlyclover86:  i agree with you.

It’s your wedding, it’s your bachelorette, tell her you dont want the party.

If she starts making some drama just flat out ask her what the hell does she want and tell her all your just told us about.

I wouldnt have any of that.

Post # 5
3662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

You cannot please her. Stop trying. All she wants to do is not let you enjoy the wedding process more than she enjoyed her own.

As for including her, tell her, “I’m doing X project at this day/time, I’d love it if you came by and we did it together.” If she shows up to help, great. If not, it’s on her and you go ahead on your own so you don’t fall behind on your plans.

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee

You cannot please everyone, especially for those that feels left out and act jealous towards your own wedding. It’s your wedding, not hers. Take the time to talk to her about how you feel, and come to an agreement to something that you may both like. I’m sorry that you feel like you need to lower your standards because of her, but you cannot feel guilty about your own wedding plans. Hang out with her more often, and maybe she will put herself in the activities. Good luck!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by ameriadian94.
Post # 8
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Yikes, this girl sounds like a piece of work. I would not have the patience to deal with someone who was acting so immature! I think it’s true that she’s jealous of your wedding, but it seems like there’s more going on here. Maybe she’s unhappy in her own marriage?

Definitely stand your ground on not having a party. Carry on with what you’re doing and don’t worry about assigning her tasks. Just do your thing and have a great wedding! Sounds like you’ve worked hard for it 🙂

Post # 9
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

I think you need to sit her down and make it clear that this time is about you and your Fiance, and that being said, you don’t want a bachelorette party and won’t attend one. Period. End of story.

If she makes a fuss, tell her she can throw herself another bachelorette if she really wants to but you’ve made it clear you don’t want one and for her to pressure you into it is just plain rude. Talk about trying to make everything about her…

Sorry you’re going through this OP. Stick to your guns about what you do and don’t want, and stop offering to have her help with things. She had her chance, she blew it, get back to your life and planning and leave her out of it.

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