(Closed) My MOH is acting strange…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8883 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ugh, her comments about weight made me cringe. That’s just not cool. It sounds like she is jealous right now.

I have to say, from past experience.. Single people do NOT want to hear “God has a plan for you” or “It’ll happen when you least expect it” or anything like that, especially from their friends in relationships. I always hated it myself.

Post # 5
Member
8883 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MissEMich:  I understand, your intentions were good. She just doesn’t see it because she’s jealous. She’s taking her frustration out on you and that’s not fair.

Post # 6
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MissEMich:  You should say that. You need to be bluntly honest with your friends. Why sugar coat, its not making it better. They can either appreciate your honesty or be bitter because they don’t want to hear the truth, when they are confiding in you. And about the weight issue, tell her how she’s making you feel and as a friend, if you care to, maybe help her by eating healthier, going to the gym with her, but make it clear of how you feel. If you don’t want to do that with her, then just tell her how you’re feeling about her. 

Post # 7
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She is probably feeling self-conscious/left out that lots of people around her are getting married and she isn’t, and it is bringing out some jealousy in her.  Of course that doesn’t give her an excuse to be so rude to you!   Some of those comments are downright nasty.

If it were me, I would avoid any talk that she may view as “preachy” or “lecturing.” I’m not saying you are preaching to her, but, since she is so ultra-sensitive right now, she may read into certain things you say and just not want to hear it. Stuff like “it will happen when you stop looking for it” or anything regarding her poor romantic choices.  It doesnt sound like she is open to listening to you anyways, so save yourself the energy.

Post # 9
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MissEMich:  I agree with echolove on this one. You need to be bluntly honest with her on this one. You can do so in as nice a way as possible, but you aren’t doing anyone any favors by skirting around the issues. I would call her out on her passive aggressive behavior regarding your weight and hers. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel.

 

If and only if she comes to you for relationship advice I would be very honest and tell her that she is in shit relationships because she chooses horribly unavailable men, and then passes on the good ones. You don’t have to be a bitch about it, but you should be honest.

Post # 10
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@echolove:  + 1. 

OP, she doesn’t have an issue being ‘blunt’ (cruel) about your weight, send it right back to her. Being single is a gift once you’re marred but it takes a lot of self work to be in a place capable of having a good relationship that leads to an engagement. That means working on self esteem and choosing decent partners. Her picker is broken. I recently told my friend that shes not ‘allowed’ to get super serious until we all approve because she tends to let things happen TO her versus being selective and choosing the right partner and it always ends up a damn mess that we have to clean up. Ugh. (sorry, this might qualify as transference, not advice! Lol)

 

Post # 12
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MissEMich:  it sounds like your friend is not only a bit jealous but also angry inside.  she is angry at herself and taking it out on everyone else.  i’m sure that after that “friend with benefits” dumped her and told her he was getting married, it hurt her a lot.  that would make anyone insecure and upset with themselves for not seeing his real intentions. 

people who are not happy with themselves often criticize others for the smallest thing just to feel better about who they are.  it’s a way of masking how they really feel.

has she had the opportunity to talk it out, really vent about how she is feeling?  hopefully once this airs, she’ll be back to accepting the fact that you are happy and getting married. 

Post # 14
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MissEMich:  Oh ok. I thought maybe she was just complaining about her weight and nit doing anything about it. Besides, you said she’s skinny as it is. Then its obvious she has low self esteem.  She doesn’t have a healthy love life, especially if she says she’s “using them too” which means she doesn’t have confidence to keep a man. Which is why she’s dating “losers.” (Who does that? Cheating on their Girlfriend, but then wants to propose. wow!) And the only way she can slightly feel better about herself is putting you down. Sounds like she just wants attention, for you to say “she’s not fat, you look good.” Compliments, which in my opinion, she’s still going to be a B****. 

All you can do is, ignore it and continue letting her affect you, like it has been. Distance yourself from her and lose a friendship. Or if you care to have her around, talk to her and tell her how you feel and like I said, she can either accept it or get offended and stop talking to you. It sucks if she gets mad, but honestly, do you really want a friend like her who is not genuienly being a friend to you? 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

what a biotch! You have to tell her exactly what’s on your mind and be upfront about everything or she will keep doing it because you’re not saying anything.

She’s obviously being extra snippy because of the guy she was seeing is now getting engaged. But you should still put her in her place.

The topic ‘My MOH is acting strange…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors