Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor and I have been friends for 10 years. Me and Fiance have been together for 9 years. We have been engaged for a long time. So we finally decided to go ahead and get married. My best friend wanted to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. Anyway when I started my planning she was no help at all.I didn’t hold it against her seeing she just had a new baby. But as time got closer I really needed her help. I even paid for her to go to 2 bridal shows with me, and the day of she decided to flake. Thank God for my other Bridesmaid or Best Man who has does more than her share for me.Last month when I went dress shopping I invited my Maid/Matron of Honor of course and what do you know that morning she called and said she couldn’t make it. Well that day is the day I found my dress. When I told her about it she was very apologetic and upset she missed out on that moment with me. So I decided to give her another chance, because I was seriously thinking of making her just a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Fast forward a few weeks we go looking for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.We get into,this big blow out. First at the dress store instead of being in the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses she was in the bridal gowns wanting to play dress up. Every Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I picked up she had a negative remark. I just gave up. Then she asked about jewelery. I have decided to gift all my girls their wedding day jewelry. That turned into and argument, and she demanded she have a dress change at my wedding. Now Bees I’m not even having a wardrobe change and after explaining that to her she says she doesn’t care she wants a reception dress. I unset eventually told her just be a guest and wear whatever you want. Now here we are almost 6months before my wedding, she comes over to pick up her son, because the days when I don’t work I watch her son for her. She saywether and her Boyfriend or Best Friend have decided to get married and have another baby, not in the future but now?????!!!! Not to judge anyone’s relationship, because no relationship is perfect, but two days before she told me that she cheated on her Boyfriend or Best Friend, he cheats on her regularly and they have a very physically abusive relationship, and every time I talk to her she is looking for a way out of her relationship. I’m at a lost with her Bees. I don’t know what to do. I’m always the good friend to her. When she was pregnant with her son and her Boyfriend or Best Friend kicked her out I opened my door, when she needs money Ithe always there. She even wants me to help plan her son’s 1st b-day I love the kid to death, but she hasn’t help do want thing for my wedding, but yet I still help her. Sorry this is soo long I just don’t know what to do or say. I just get tired of being the good friend sometimes.
Post # 3
@JenniferWay13: There are two issues here, the Maid/Matron of Honor issue and the friend issue.
You say you told her to just be a guest and wear what she wants because she demanded that she have a reception dress. I think that was the right decision. The *only* thing a MOH/BM really has to do is wear the dress you choose. So stick with that.
The bigger thing, though, is that this friend is making a train wreck of her life, and using you. I would advise her to leave her cheating abusive bf, but if she doesn’t, all you can do is be there for her. But I would stop being a money source for her. Meaning, I would not lend her money, nor would I watch her kid for free. It sounds like (to be blunt) she is mooching off you, using you as a free babysitting service. I think at the very least you need to wind it back, e.g. limit it to once or twice a month. In fact if you stopped giving free babysitting, maybe she’d realise having another kid with this loser isn’t such a great idea.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Sounds to me like she is upset that your life seems to be falling into place while hers is out of control.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
@paula1248: +1 especially about watching the kid and her needing to realise she doesnt need to have another one cos if you dont stop youll end up watching the other one too.
Post # 6
@beachbride1216: I agree.
I think you need to set some boundaries with your friend. What are you getting out of this relationship? Maybe it’s nothing right now (since she seems to be having some serious problems) but was this friendship mutually beneficial before?
Post # 7
that is crazy!! I’m surprised you put up with it for so long! I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m glad that you have a Bridesmaid or Best Man that is so supportive to try to balance out the crazy one lol. Sounds to me like she’s jealous her life is difficult and she wants to make sure yours is too. toxic.
Post # 8
Seriously..I couldn’t be bothered with this. You need a friend to help and support you for your wedding day, not all this drama.
Post # 9
@paula1248: I try to be a good friend ,I’m not the type of person to just leave people hanging,especially people I care about. We have been friends for 10 years. When she was pregnant you would’ve though I was pregnant the amount of money I spent on her kid. Money is not a issues but you would think a person would think and say to themselves if a person has been a rock for you and never asked for nothing in return.Just to do them one favor would be a no brainier. In the course of there 2 year relationship I have told countless times to leave him but I got tired so I just leave it alone. Thanks for your advice
@beachbride1216: I feel the same but I try to think we are adults no need for jealousy.
@leecy87: I told her the same she is not in the position to have another child. I’m to the point where I’m tired of being the good friend.
@AlwaysSunny: Again we have been friends since high school, for 10 years now. Before I our friendship was perfect.But since she has been with this guy and my Fiance have been planning our wedding she has turned into this attention seeking monster.
@Car7yn44: Thank you, I am very grateful for my other Bridesmaid or Best Man. She has truly been a godsend. She has helped me so much while still planning her own wedding.