- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
I kept trying to convince myself that my twin sister was my best choice for my maid of honor because shes my sister even though I knew deep down inside she wasn’t really the person I NEED or want for a lot of good reasons.I haven’t fully processed my entire bridal party yet but I did choose 2 people as definates. My cousin and my sister who I told I wanted as maid of honor. Her reaction? “yeah I already knew it’d be me” (not even a smile) and it sucked the spirit out of the whole thing, she never even congratulated me on my engagement. When I asked my cousin to be a bridesmaid she was elated. Her response is what I wanted from my maid of honor. She was in a position to decline and she had just lost her home to Sandy so she was down and out and displaced but she said yes without hesitation, said I made her day, in fact year, was going on and on about how happy she was to be a part of a beautiful day and how she was happy for me and my fiance and told me to use her at my disposal for ANYTHING so things can go smoothly. My sister on the otherhand hasn’t done anything but try to tell me what I can and can’t do as a bride to her maid of honor. It’s not up to me to say yes or no to anything she has in mind for me and that I’m a clueless *b* because I said I didn’t want a bridal shower. That lead to a 45 min screaming match where she then called me a control freak and bridezilla simply because I requested not to have a bridal shower. The wedding is not local to me or my friends and I just want everyone to save their time, energy, and money for the moment that counts the most for me and thats the wedding, is that a crime?
Long story short, she has hated me for about 13 years now, we don’t get along that well, my happiest moments are when she’s not around, she always curses at me, yells at me, hurts me, makes me feel bad about myself and my life, says Terrible things about me to my friends, has no emotional or senimental connection to me or my wedding and her speech will be forced because anything nice she says wont be genuine or believable since she never is nice to me anyway so it will be a “show”. I chose her because I didn’t want anyone asking why she wasn’t maid of honor or telling me that it’s not right she’s not the maid of honor, my father would be disappointed, my family would be confused, etc. basically for the sake of others but I thought the maid of honor was someone who makes you feel good about yourself, your cheerleader, someone who has so many nice things to say about you, who is genuinely happy for you, and someone who respects your wishes kindly so would it be wrong of me to change my mind now? I made a mistake in choosing her and I regret it so much. My gut instinct was to not ask her in the first place. She’s not a nice person but I know if I take her out of moh position she will be spiteful and not even go to the wedding because that’s how she is.
I just want to be happy on my wedding day and she always makes me feel terrible.