Post # 1
Bees I really need your help!
I planned a meeting for my bridal party to get to know each other and to give them information about dresses, makeup etc. My sister (who is also my MOH) told me this afternoon she needed a ride…OK fine i know she doesnt have a car. i told her i would ask one of the other BMs to bring her because they live close to each other…tahts when she tells me she is bringing her girlfriend to the meeting. i asked her why and she told me it was for her company. I explained to my sister( MOH!!!!) that her girlfriend could not come because she was not invited. this was a meeting that i was having for my bridesmaids adn she has no need to be there. a lot of back and forth ensued and long story short, she told me that she would NOT come to the meeting if her girlfriend couldnt come to because she did not want to uninvite her (thats rude even though you invited her some place she did not need to be?!?!?!) I have NO relationship with this girl other than that she is my sister,s Girlfriend. I am scared that if i keep her as my Maid/Matron of Honor she is going to try and include her Girlfriend in EVERYTHING and bottom line is the girl is not welcome (sorry to sound so rude) but if i scrap her i am concerned i will hurt her feelings (even though she clearly deosnt care about mine) But this is the second time she has invited her Girlfriend to bridal party activities (the first time was when we were addressing my Save-The-Date Cards but i let it slide then because she was already there before i knew about it) Im in beteen a rock and a hard place and i dont know WHAT to do!! Should i keep my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor or should i chuck her out of the bridal party….
Post # 3
honestly? if the situation were different and it was your sister’s boyfriend, would you feel the same?
if so, then tell her that the Girlfriend is not a member of the bridal party and that she isn’t welcomed due to that. If your sister threatens to back out because of your stance, let her. She obviously isn’t respecting you or your wishes.
you could even point out that if she’d had a boyfriend, the boyfriend wouldn’t be involved and so the same rules apply to girlfriends as well. gender doesn’t matter in this case.
and this coming from someone who has a friend who’s like a sister who also has a wife. lol, of course, i also end up asking my friend’s SO for advice and help, too, but that’s because my friend always says her SO knows the answer and she doesn’t! LOL!
sounds like you’ve got a different situation, though.
If you want to keep the peace, is there a way to involve the Girlfriend withOUT having her in the bridal party? like make her part of the planning and help and have her do other things while the rest of you are getting ready on the wedding day??? like be an extra usher or give out programs or something???
Post # 4
I don’t know. I’d just let her come along. She’ll be an extra set of hands when it comes to DIY stuff.
Sometimes family peace requires doing things you don’t necessarily want. You have to decide what’s worth more to you: family peace or standing your ground? You could damage your relationship with your sister beyond repair. I know from experience. I would rather have my sister in my life, and deal with a SO that I don’t care for, than not have my sister in my life at all. This girlfriend may not be in your sister’s life forever, but you will be. This is probably a small concession in the grand scheme of things.