(Closed) My MOH just told me she is coloring her hair teal and purple

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

LadyBlackheart:  Your profile pic suggests that you like teal 😛

Honestly, try to get over it now, but really don’t worry about it until closer to the date, so much can happen with hair in 3 months.

You want your Maid/Matron of Honor to look her best in photos, and as long as her hair color is well done and doesn’t clash with her dress, it’s not that big of a deal.

Post # 17
1167 posts
Bumble bee

LadyBlackheart:  Oooh that’s pretty!

I don’t really understand why you are bothered by this.  Can you tell us why this bothers you?  I mean, you already know where the comments are going so honesty would be great here. 

I believe that photos capture the MOMENT of our time.  I have photos of myself in really different hairstyles over the years and some of those hairstyles I miss, some I hate.  But they always bring me SMILE because it brings memories with it.  Looking at your photos, when you are 50, you’ll probably remember more the moment, the feeling of being married to your loved one, and that one time your BFF decides to turn to teal.  I doubt you’d remember feeling upset, but really the person should be more important than the hair.

Post # 18
633 posts
Busy bee

acw2016:  Why would you want your friend to NOT look like herself on your wedding day? If she colors her hair wild color “all the time”, then why wouldn’t you want to look at your wedding pictures and see your friend, as she actually is, instead of ‘normalized’ to fit your palette?

Post # 19
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I agree with PPs, more than likely by the time the wedding comes around the colour will fade, or your Maid/Matron of Honor will want something different. If you’re really worried about it, you could ask her how long she hopes/plans to have the colour in her hair? But for the most part I just wouldn’t bring it up. 

Post # 21
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Unnatural colors fade super super fast (I dye my hair a lot). So in 3 months she will probably do something different. I would try to look at it more from the in years from now you will look back and smile at your friend who was true to herself and tastes on your wedding day point of view, rather than I don’t like ____ so I don’t want my friends to wear/look/etc it either.

Post # 22
1167 posts
Bumble bee

LadyBlackheart:  I see.  So you don’t want her to be the butt of ridicules or snarky comments?  You’re a good friend 🙂

You cannot really control what people say or do.  Ever.  If you’re family decides they want to be salty about other people’s hair, that only reflects badly on them and not you.

Lady, my only suggestion is to get a thicker skin.  If random comments about what you or other’s look like cut deep, then maybe you should arm yourself more.  This goes for all aspects of life.  🙂

Post # 23
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

LadyBlackheart:  Well then rather than talking to your friend about a perfectly valid choice of something to do with her body maybe the people you should be talking to are your family. Maybe they need to know that you don’t feel that someone should be judged by what they look like.

I also want to point out that appearance is about much more than what our outsides look like. Our appearance is tied to our self worth, especially for women who are socialised this way unfortunately. So telling someone you hate their appearance or putting specific standards to their appearance because of an event in your life is basically telling them they are not good enough.

Post # 24
320 posts
Helper bee

That inspiration pic looks so good! Who cares if your family makes comments. If she’s doing this, it seems like she’s ready to deal with potential comments and backlash and is happy to be able to express herself.

Post # 25
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

Honestly I think it looks badass but I’ve been known to dye my hair pink, blue, purple, or red. I’d love to do teal but work won’t allow it :p

Anywho, I’d personally ask her if she wouldn’t mind putting it off for a bit and if she’s cool with waiting then awesome, but if she truly wants to do it right now then let her. You want to at least let her know how you feel. Support her either way though. 

My cousin wanted me to cut my hair all crazy and wanted me to keep my bright red hair for her wedding all while making sure my tattoos were on display because she wanted me to be the “firecracker” bridesmaid. But that’s my own experience. 

Post # 26
179 posts
Blushing bee

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 27
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Keep your mouth shut and try to not let your family get to you.

Post # 28
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Everyone always gets high and mighty about this kind of stuff, but I’d be frustrated too. Especially since this seems to have come out of nowhere.

The inspiration pics look good, but if she’s doing it herself and hasn’t done two colors before, I wonder what the odds are that it’ll turn out that nice.

I don’t really have a solution for you other than wait and see how it looks and try not to make your mind up before you even see it. Then if it’s awful, figure out how to proceed, I guess …

Post # 29
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

LadyBlackheart:  I think her inspiration pics look beautiful. It may not be part of the “vision” you had for your wedding, but I think it can still look classy.

Post # 30
179 posts
Blushing bee

There is no way I would spend all of that money on a wedding and then let someone step into the photos with teal and purple hair. 

That is absurd. That is insane. 

Don’t let anyone guilt trip you about this. It’s your wedding and you’re going to be looking at those photos and remembering those memories for a long time.

Where does this stop? At what point does our right to having a “unique style” become more important than the traditions and milestones of our loved ones?

Ask her how she would feel if you showed up at her wedding in a Bozo wig and big red rubber clown nose?

 Is that OK?

And if not, why?

What’s the difference?


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