(Closed) My MOH just told me she is coloring her hair teal and purple

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 121
Member
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

TammieRei:  That sounds pretty, too pretty to change due to being a bridesmaid. Slap on a wig lol!

Post # 122
Member
3294 posts
Sugar bee

If I was a bridesmaid for one of my BFFs in 3 months time I would without a doubt keep that in mind before doing any kind of OTT body modifications. It’s 12 weeks out, can she not hold off until after the wedding?

I agree with PP who said that a lot of time, energy and money is spent deciding on and perfecting colour schemes. I’d be pissed if a Bridesmaid or Best Man sprung this on me 3 months out.

Post # 123
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

LadyBlackheart:  You don’t have to go to the other extreme or overcompensate, either, you know. If she asks you what you really think, you are free to say that since she asks, you  prefer her in a natural hair color, while not specifically telling her what to do at your wedding. 

It’s true that a bride cannot dictate appearance, but in the friend’s place I would personally opt to postpone any attention grabbing fashion statements until after the wedding. 

Post # 124
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

In my opinion it is very inconsiderate of her. YES it is her body and she should be free to do whatever she wants but clearly she is not willing to consider your feelings. Maybe she is joking? I sure hopes so. I would never do that to somone or stress them out about something that could wait a few months. I dont think it would kill her.

Post # 125
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

One of my bridesmaids often has her hair colored in non-traditional colours. Whilst I didn’t ask her to change her hair, I certainly appreciated when she changed her hair to a beautiful brunette colour before the wedding.

She did it because she loves me & respects me. Because she knew that my wedding day, like me, was traditional.

Friends respect friends, I don’t understand why your bridesmaid would put you in a position that she knows you will be uncomfortable with. 

Post # 126
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

luxelove:  

1. OPs Bridesmaid or Best Man is not a mind reader, nor should she be expected to be. How the hell does she know OP is “uncomfortable” with it when the feedback she has got, via text, was “that’s pretty”?

2. It is still THREE months before wedding. As many posters have pointed out, dying her hair 3 months before does not mean that is what it will be at the wedding, most of us don’t live our lives around other people’s weddings, and if her hair is still teal then, meh. It’s hair.

3. Friends respect friends…that goes for brides respecting that their BMs are people too, with their own lives to live, and own hair to dye.

 

What if your Bridesmaid or Best Man, who often coloured her hair in non-traditional colours, had NOT decided to change it to a “beautiful brunette”? Would you have dumped her from the wedding party or photos? 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 127
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Aloso dying your OWN hair does not mean you do not love and respect your friend(s). Now if Bridesmaid or Best Man had snuck into OPs room right before her wedding and dyed HER hair purple and teal, that would not be loving or respectful.

Post # 128
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

RayKay:  

Yes, I would have asked her to change her hair colour if she hadn’t. I would have offered to pay. I would have waited til 3 or 4 weeks before the wedding. She’s close enough to me to be my bridesmaid, she’s close enough for me to be honest with. I wouldn’t have kicked her out of the bridal party if she didn’t. My point is that most bridesmaids should know their bride well enough to show love & kindness in big & little ways & vise versa. 

Post # 129
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

LadyBlackheart:  this whole time i thought you were talking about mother in law for some reason. that made it way more interesting! lol

Post # 130
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Sephiroth:  Because her hair is either light brown or dark brown. She works at a hair salon, so she has dyed her hair every color of the rainbow at one point or another, and the phase lasts for 2 or 3 weeks tops. She would not be hurt if I asked her to not have crazy hair for my wedding, considering she changes her hair all the time. That”s why, because being her regular self is her brown hair which it is 90% of the time.

Post # 131
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

She commited to playing a key role in your wedding and blue most likely won’t match her dress  (unless she is volunteering to be your “something blue”, that is). Yes it’s her body, but I think it is inconsiderate for her to wait to tell you 3 months prior that she is dying her hair such a bright and bold color, especially if she knows what your wedding decor is and knows it won’t match. She and other people close to you may not be trying to ruin your wedding. It’s probably that they just aren’t aware of the details you are thinking about, how it might affect other things, and (most importantly since this is now a conflict in your mind) what you envisioned the end to be from the beginning.  I don’t think that’s being selfish or controlling. I know that the actual marriage is more important than the wedding, so I am not being superficial and I am not one to be on the regular anyway. I guess I have a more understanding of this based on work-related experience. I’m not saying ditch her as she is important to you and it sounds like you have a good relationship with her and you trust her. I am saying that she committed to an important role, and it would be more considerate to ask if that would bother you since you are paying for photography and have worked hard to color coordinate.

Can she not wait until after the wedding? After all, it’s only 3 months.

If she is a true friend, she can wait. Maybe she will, if you bring it up. Hasn’t she been waiting a while to do this anyway? A little longer won’t hurt. 

Post # 132
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t be thrilled either, but since your wedding is quite a while away I wouldn’t assume she will have that hair at your wedding. She may not have any intention of doing so and may have already imagined or planned that she will have dyed it a more normal colour again by your wedding. it’s a difficult one though, if you are very close then carefully mention that you are a bit worried about her hair in relation to your wedding.

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