Post # 1
My Fiance and I got married September 3rd. He did it extremly late in the evening, therefore the only people i dared to call were my parents 🙂 The next morning I called my step-sister to tell her the great news. She screamed with delight and then the first words out of her mouth were ” you’re going to make me your Maid/Matron of Honor right?!”
Now i love her to bits, our parents have been together for nealry 16 years at this point, but she wasnt my first choice. I told her I wasnt sure sure yet…we hadnt made any plans….In reality, my younger cousin whom im extremly close to would have been my MOH. I then received a 2 page email on why she should be.She wrote things like” she would be crushed”, “she always thought she should be, cosidering neither one of us had sisters” ” will choose me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor whenever she got married” I felt backed into a corner….So i chose her.
My cousin has been really good about it and she is obviously a Bridesmaid or Best Man…but I feel like Im missing something….I really want to make her part of the ceremony now…I want people to see that shes important to me….btu how do i do this in a way where im not going to upset my step-sister? I know some of you will say ….Its your wedding do what you want… but its not a day where i want to rock the boat in anyway… Help 🙁
Post # 3
How about having co-maids of honor? I am doing that. I couldn’t possibly choose between my two best girlfriends. They were fine with it. I don’t think you should worry too much about hurting people’s feelings. Just go with what you want!
Post # 5
I have a bunch of sisters so I said no Maid/Matron of Honor. Then on the wedding day I ended up having one because one of them just went above and beyond and really took charge of everything.
Post # 6
It’s your day, and you need to do what’s right for you.
It frustrates me that people think they “deserve” to be in someones else’s wedding (even if they are family!)
At this point since you’ve already made her the MoH, I think the best you could do is have co maids of honor like the other girls mentioned. There’s nothing wrong with having more than one person in your life that is important enough to have that title 🙂
Post # 7
I’d definitely do TWO MOHs. She can guilt you all she wants into being the Maid/Matron of Honor, but you can still choose your cousin to stand next to you at the altar!
Post # 8
Definitely do two MOH’s! It’s not fair for you to feel in anyway uncomfortable with the choice of your step-sister instead of cousin, make them both share the title & everyone’s happy!
Post # 9
We’re not having a best man or maid of honor for this exact reason, it’s too tricky with feelings and trying to decide who should be doing what and where and all that.
Post # 10
This happened to me with my BFF. We have a mutual friend who unfortunately is very emotional to the your worried about her safety so my friend decided to make her the Maid/Matron of Honor inorder to not upset our friend. I completely understood the situtation and I still went above and beyond for my friend like I would have if I was Maid/Matron of Honor. So I’m sure your cousin will do the same.
If you want to do something special for her have her read a poem, versus. Or ask her to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 11
I agree with everyone, have two! I have two because I have 2 sisters and would not be able to choose. We originally drew out of a hat so all three would be someones Maid/Matron of Honor, but I couldn’ have one without the other.
I am having one stand next to me, and the other sign my marriage license so they both get to do something special.
Post # 12
Definitely have two MOH! I’ve seen it done before. Hopefully the current Maid/Matron of Honor and your new Maid/Matron of Honor (cousin) will get along well and then you’ll have double the help. This could work out very nicely!