(Closed) My MOH needs help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i would nicely say something to them. its not fair that your moh is footing the bill for something that they will all be doing.

Post # 4
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would just have her put in an email to all the girls very matter of fact: “Hi Ladies – So excited about the upcoming festivities and I am so glad that you will all be able to participate. I figure we would all just split the cost. For the bachelorette party, it will be $50/per person, for the shower it will be $80/person. You can either send me a check or give me the cash the day of. Can’t wait to share this special time with all of you guys!!!!”

No wishy-washy or apologetic language. This is what it costs, end of story. Hope this helps.

 

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

First of all… you should not be involved in the discussion at all.  Your Maid/Matron of Honor should have spoken to the girls and never brought this up to you.  So you need to remove yourself.

Secondly, I have to disagree with magilnyc.  If your Maid/Matron of Honor would like to split the costs between all the girls she should have consulted them BEFORE she made set plans.  It’s not up to her to determine how much each girl can afford.  At this point she should write an email and say what she has planned so far and what the per bridesmaid cost will be.  If someone comes back and can not afford the cost, your Maid/Matron of Honor will have to cover the difference, or change the plans.

Post # 6
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I second Moose1209’s comment.

Before anything was planned if she needed $ from the Bridesmaid or Best Man she should have asked what they can/ if they afford anything. Its not your BM’s jobs to do all this stuff the only job they have is to buy a dress and stand up

Post # 7
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree, asking ahead of time would help figure out how “big” of an event should be planned. I may seem a bit harsh on this one only because I have been the Maid/Matron of Honor and got stuck with the bill before and it sucks.

And I agree with Moose1209, You should not be involved in this discussion. Your bridesmaids should be making this as stress-free a time as possible for you. That’s their job 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Moose1209:

Totally agree. Budget should have been agreed on before Maid/Matron of Honor unilaterally made the plans. I think all the Maid/Matron of Honor can do at this point is ask each girl to chip in whatever they can afford if they would like to contribute. I would be pretty upset if I was in a wedding and was not consulted on the cost of a shower or bachelorette, and then told to pony up “my” share of the money.

 

@christy213

 Just wondering, why is your Maid/Matron of Honor doing all these things without consulting with the rest of the bridal party? Although it might be her job to organize, she should be involving them and getting their input, not just delegating responsibilities to them, in my opinion.

Post # 10
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was just simply let her know that this is an issue that she needs to take up with the other bridesmaids. Like Moose said, it is not up to her to determine what each person can afford. She can send them a kind email explaining what she has done and paid for and ask if anyone is able to contribute to the cost. She should not feel bad or awkward asking for help. That being said, she should not have to bare the entire cost for the bachelorette party and bridal shower. I am sure the other girls will be happy to help out.

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