Post # 1
I’m a newbie here and signed up just so I can vent!!!
Back story: my BFF is getting married 2 months before I am. I feel like she fast tracked her wedding planning (was engaged for about 2 years) when she found out I had gotten engaged. My wedding planning process has semi-revolved around her (I know I know). I am being soooo courteous to her and checking her event dates so they do not clash and make it harder for mutual friends to attend and/or commit to.
Long story short, I planned my bach party for Cancun far enough away from her bach party and far enough away from her wedding date. In the end, she’s not even going!!! It so happens that it is her sister’s 21st birthday the weekend of my bach party.
I have been so easy with her wedding planning (I’m one of her bridesmaids). I haven’t given her ANY trouble. But she has been the most difficult one!!!
Have you gals experienced any thing similar? Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
I can understand your frustration and by the sounds of it she’s not being completely fair to you, but I will say if it was my sister’s 21st I wouldn’t want to miss it. As for the fast track, are you sure that she fast tracked or was she waiting for a specific date/venue to open up? How else is she being difficult? From your post I don’t really know what else has happened to make you say she’s being difficult, so it’s hard to have a good perspective. I can’t say that you are overreacting, but I don’t think you should be too hard on her when she has her sister’s 21st that weekend. If she was just missing it to miss it or had some lame excuse, I think you’d have a right to be perturbed, it’s understandable you’re upset she’s going to miss it, but cut her a little slack for this at least.
Post # 4
Thanks for your input. I do want to cut her some slack and I guess I am just bitter about her not being as “easy” as I have with her wedding planning.
I’ve asked her to help with the Bridal Party planning early on and she didn’t do much to help my sister (my 2nd MOH) and it’s probably because she has so much going on as well with her wedding. I’ve checked with her about having a bridesmaid lunch/meet & greet and she was being difficult with dates and such. Now seeing this in print maybe she hasn’t been all that bad.
But, I too am a little upset because she sent out an email months back requesting her bridesmaids to help contribute $350 towards her wedding/video package. I was shocked by this. But, this may be a cultural thing where members of the bridal party “sponsor” particular items to the wedding.
I think that is what did it for me….I was completely turned off by her email. And to actually put a dollar figure when asking for a “contribution” because so many of us bridesmaids asked her if we could “help” her with anything. I assume that the girls asked her if she needed help folding programs, choosing flowers or even the bridesmaid dresses. Not monetary help!!!
This almost should be another thread topic! LOL.
Post # 5
RE: the video contribution WOW. I’d say her sister’s 21st is a legit excuse for missing out but that other stuff I’d be annoyed
Post # 6
If it makes you feel any better, I had a bridesmaid come to the lingerie shower being thrown for me for about 45 minutes before going home to “shower and change” for the bachelorette party. She went home and called me to say she was just too tired, and didn’t want to go with us because I couldnt promise her that we would only go to smoke free bars. (Most of the bars are now, and none of us smoke, but since I wasnt planning this shindig, I didnt know where we were going.) I love that girl to death but when she gets married, I better be getting a long ass apology letter of the “I’m sorry, I just didnt ‘get it’ then!”. grrr.
Anyway, just know that you arent the only one and friends arent perfect, but they are still important to us.