(Closed) My MOH quit!! Should she still be invited??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, she sounds super unreliable!  I guess be thankful she backed out now.  As far as inviting her as a guest, it’s completely up to you.  I think you have a good case either way you decide.  How do you feel deep down?  I’ve been told by several people to only invite those that you see being a part of your life 10+ years from now, so we’re trying to stick to that.  Do you see her being an active part of your life?  Do you think she’ll even show up to the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I say invite her anyways. sounds a little suspicious but ya never know!

Post # 5
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d be really pissed if my Maid/Matron of Honor cancelled 3 months out. That’s a crappy thing to do. Especially after all the previous drama she caused. Honestly, if I were you I’d probably not invite her.

Post # 6
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes she should be invited. I can’t imagine WHY you thin disinviting her would be an option. She has money issues + crazy hormones making her go through some drama/whatever. If nothing happened, I don’t see why you’re so upset. If she realized she can’t afford this right now, either pay for ityourself or just let her be at the wedding as a guest.

Who would disinvite a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor for money issues?

Post # 7
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am extremely confused. Someone who kicked you out of her wedding, disinvited you and you never talk to is your BFF? That doesn’t make a lot of sense. That aside why wouldn’t you invite her? Because she can’t afford to be in your wedding? Because knowing she is pregnant she feels she can’t perform to your Bridesmaid or Best Man standard so she is bowing out in plenty of time? I am really struggling as to why that seems like the appropriate thing to do. In my world when a friend is pregnant we are thrilled for her and understand that things will change. We don’t throw a fit and remove her from our lives because of that. Please be a mature adult, congratulate her and invite her. 

Post # 8
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

This is a very important “BFF.”  Did you use that term facetiously?

Do you want to cause more drama?  Then don’t invite her.  If you want to move on and focus on being friends, invite her.

 

I think it’s fairly common for a pregant or TTC couple to have a moment when they realize just how much having a baby will cost.  That realization can obviously change spending habits and priorities.  Though she signed on to be Maid/Matron of Honor, you can’t fault her for putting saving for the baby first.

 

Post # 9
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’d take this as a blessing in disguise.  I would extend the olive branch by offering her an invitation, but I would have zero expectations as to whether she will actually show up or be supportive.

Post # 11
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If she did all that stuff to me, without even telling me what I did wrong or trying to talk to me about cutting me out of her life and then half a YEAR later wanting to be best friends again, I personally wouldn’t have been her friend again unless it was totally clear that she was amazingly remorseful or there was a mental health reason that was resolved.  You will have to decide if you want to stay friends with her now, if not then say that you had to make cuts to the guest list and that she should concentrate on her children, if you do want to stay friends then invite her.  I don’t know the whole situation though 🙁

Post # 13
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To be honest, I’m impressed you are still friends with her and made her your Maid/Matron of Honor.  Kicking someone out of the bridal party is pretty much a friendship ending move, and then not to even invite you to the wedding – wow.  Even though I understand the money excuse, I think you dodged a bullet with this one.  I also think you should be the bigger person and still invite her to the wedding but after that I say to just cut your loses.

 

Post # 13
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It was ridiculous for her to not invite you to her wedding. 

Anyways, don’t be catty like she was, just invite her. You said she was your BFF, how could you not? 

Post # 14
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

What does it matter if she is being honest or not? If she doesn’t want to be in your wedding then okay, she let you know in plenty of time so I don’t see what the issue is. As someone who has been pregnant it is a huge undertaking and the sheer stress of planning and money is a valid reason to bow out. You aren’t being bashed, we are trying to get you to see the whole picture. You could go Bridezilla or you could be a kind friend and take her at her word, invite her and move on with it. Personally I’d choose the latter- when you have the option to either be kind which will cost you nothing or be hurtful which will cost someone why on earth would you choose to be hurtful? 

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