- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
This is long, ranty, and relatively boring. Read on if you dare:
Let me begin with, I don’t have a ton of close girl friends. I never really have. My closest friends have always been men. But, unless you want some sort of cheesy Made of Honor movie type situation (which, I sadly must admit I got tricked into watching part of that trash), it just doesn’t make for an easy time choosing bridesmaids.
So, I chose three girls: my sister-in-law, a newish friend, and an old childhood friend. The new friend and I had really hit it off, even though I had only know her for about 6 months when I asked her to be a bridesmaid. The sister-in-law is fantastic, and no complaints there. But then, the childhood friend, who will call “Kate.”
After asking Kate to be a bridesmaid, she eventually asked who my “MOH” was. I said I hadn’t picked one, and I really didn’t care about having one. She asked if she could be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and I said, sure, why not.
Skip forward a year or so in the future. Ugh, Kate is really the worst. She has always lied a fair amount, and we’ve had our disagreements in the past. She has been lying a lot more lately, but I try not to let that get to me. She started dating some dude that is totally the worst and insists that she bring him (I had already told her in July she couldn’t bring a date, and then she asked again saying, “Is there still no room for “Patrick to come?” I finally relented, although I was tempted to say, “No, last time there was no room for “John” to come. You started dating “Patrick” like two weeks ago.”) I’m letting her scuzz-ass boyfriend become mainly because my FI’s best man’s girlfriend is coming (who we don’t know, but figure there is no way we will hate her as much as Patrick).
She hasn’t put in any of her own money into the wedding. She got her parents to buy her bridesmaid dress. She lives at home, and she has a baby. Now, she tells me she plans to abadon her baby with parents forever, and move away with her scuzz-ass boyfriend. She hasn’t told her parents about this. This is so unbelievably selfish and irresponsible that it makes me not even want to deal with her at all. Granted, this her sort of her “decision” to make (if you can consider ruining several other lives with your selfishness your decision).
Anyway, that is not really about my wedding. I told her about my wedding shower (I’m pretty sure technically the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to throw such things), and she “couldn’t get off work,” although she had plenty of advanced notice, and she works some dumb retail job that seriously, you can just call in sick. It’s not like she is a surgeon. So I am pretty confident that I will not be receiving a present from her.
So, I sort of want to strip her of her “MOH” status and demote her to a normal bridesmaid, but that is really just pettiness. I would prefer the new-ish friend or my sister-in-law to sign the wedding license, since I don’t feel like cutting off contact with them forever after the wedding.
It’s not to say that Kate and I aren’t friends. She calls me every few days, upset because she and Patrick are either broken up or about to break up, and then sends me a text message the next day saying that “all has been fixed.”
I’m not sure if there is a “solution,” because I am not sure exactly what the problem is.
So, I guess in all of this, I have one question. We have gone way over the number of people we meant to invite. Is there a way I can uninvite her horrible boyfriend?