(Closed) My MOH tried to kill herself… what do I do?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you do?

    Be a supportive friend, let her stay the MOH

    Let her be a bridesmaid, just not MOH

    Take her out of the wedding altogether

    I have no idea. This sucks.

  • Post # 152
    Member
    1113 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’ve had some experience with someone very close to me having a suicide attempt. You get through it by making time for them and by smiling your ass off when they are around. This person has made it clear that they are at (or can easily jump to) the end of their rope. They don’t need new stress, they don’t need the rug pulled out from underneath them on things they are currently taking for granted. Don’t bring your problems to them. Talk to someone you can trust (support network, your FI) and keep your tears behind closed doors. This isn’t a problem that gets better after a week or two. When she is next over at your place, have your Fiance with you and make clear what your limits are IE: no drama zone, no access when you are not there unless explicitly cleared by you in advance, no alcohol or substances. 

    You’ve already identified a number of concerns for you about having your friend be in your wedding now. Work to address them with her without bringing up your wedding. She needs a friend, not a bride.

    Post # 153
    Member
    1034 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @GreenDream:  You’ve already identified a number of concerns for you about having your friend be in your wedding now. Work to address them with her without bringing up your wedding. She needs a friend, not a bride.


    This.

    Post # 154
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @HisQueen2Be:  Ugh… every detail of this story is so similar to my own experience. It make me hurt for you 🙁 I promise it will be okay in time, but I totally understand how traumatized you are. It’s okay to not be okay. 

    Post # 155
    Member
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HisQueen2Be: I’ll be honest, I felt terrible for you when I read through the original post. I’ve been in this situation (both being the person trying to kill herself and the friend of the person trying to kill herself). The thing that bothers me is that you’re making this about you. “It’s MY wedding, why is she doing this to ME”. This girl needs help. The last thing she needs is her best friend cutting communication. Your wedding is in MAY. Hold off on the ‘me me me’ and focus on helping your friend. She has many issues she needs to work through.

    Talk to her! Ask her what she’s feeling, what she’d like to do. You never know, cutting her out as Maid/Matron of Honor could drive her deeper into her depression and she could end up being successful in taking her life. Your wedding is forever away, she needs you NOW.

    I’m sorry you’re in this situation, I really am. Someone needs to be strong and right now it doesn’t seem like she’s up to it, so that means you need to be strong. If you love this girl, if she’s your best friend, pick up the phone.

    Post # 156
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Usually people take Advil for attention. My friend did that and she wasn’t trying to die. Most people tell someone in time and realize they can get their stomach pumped. To me that’s not smart bc you may totally ruin your liver or kidneys. I have never been suicidal I only wanted to hide in a cave away from my problems but never ever die. It has been my feeling that if it was not for attention the person would do something they can’t fix that is drastic. Often how men do messy things when committing suicide. She needs to realize her feelings aren’t normal and she needs professional help.

    I think your friend has a lot going on. I would suggest a therapist and give her an out to everything but still say if you want to be by my side on the day of our wedding you know I will love for you to be there. It sounds like she needs to talk to someone bc the suicide attempt is only part of her underlying issues.

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