@HisQueen2Be: Okay, I could only read through about half of your posts before frustration sat in. So frustrated that I had to get onto my computer to type it out because trying to type it out on my phone would frustrate me even more. So this will come out to you as me being a complete and total bitch. But please make sure to read every piece of this. Because it really isn’t all that bitchy after you get past a certain point. I just had to let my frustration get out.
While you seem to “know” and “understand” she needs help, you don’t really seem to really know or understand. It is almost as though you are playing the “I care about you” card, but you are thinking more of your ownself. So here is where I am going to say that I feel uberly sorry for your sister (close friend you consider her sister). I’d kill to have a best friend so close to me I consider them my sister (I do have my Fiance who is my BF though). I would hate to have friends that couldn’t be there for me when I needed them, and I would sure as hell make sure that I was the friend that was always there (treat others as you would want to be treated). If any one of my friends tried to commit suicide, I’d be there. Even if it was in my house. And the last thing I would do is take her key away. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be afraid for myself; I’d be afraid for her. In fact, I’d be the one next to her bedside making sure everything was okay, every single day. And when she was released from the hospital, she would be staying with me. Especially if her family was acting as though it was nothing. And tbh, I’d probably postpone the wedding. Because I’d want her being there, healthy, stronger, and next to my side on my special day.
So on top of having a friend who hasn’t even bothered saying a word to her, she has her family who is treating it like its no big deal. Would it surprise you if she started declining health wise or even following through with suicide? When dealing with depression, a lot of the time you are being self destructive. With friends and family that acted like they didn’t care anything about them, it would make them feel more useless to this world. And give them more reason to leave the world. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought “they’d be better off without me here”.
Admitting here, I’ve tried. I’ve cut into my own wrists at the worst time in my life. And my Fiance (my best friend) helped me get through everything by showing he wasn’t going anywhere. I struggle keeping my own jobs and even finishing school because of my anxiety, my depression, and my shyness. I can see from her point of view that she feels like a failure. But its NOT her. She is a person who can win at everything in this world. The disease is what makes her the way she is. And you being there to help her get the help she needs will help her push to be healthy. Go back into my profile and see my previous mental health post. It was a vent about myself, a vent about a fight my Fiance and I got into. But I realized with that fight that even though he pissed me off, that he was right. I needed help. And he isn’t going anywhere even if I did or didn’t get help. Because he cares and loves me regardless of this disease. Maybe its helpful that he grew up with an alcoholic mother. So he knows how diseases work. They definitely don’t make a person. You see through the disease, and see them for who they truly are, you’ll see what I mean.
Anyways, by all means, take care of your health (couples counsoling would be amazing for both of you as friends). But don’t let this bump in the road (no matter the size), tear your friendship apart. With this, you girls should learn to lean on each other and be better friends to each other, more open and honest about whats going on. And I think you seeing her will help SO MUCH with the anger you feel right now. You seeing her would probably make you burst into tears of happiness that she is still alive. You’ll regret it if you let your own anger eat up at you and tear your relationship apart. Especially when you get word that she ended up going through with her suicidal thoughts and tendencies. So please please please…. go see her. And please come back and give us an update.
I am sorry that you are going through this. And I am even more sorry that she is going through this. I feel bad for the two of you. So grow with each other some more. Because both of you deserve it. And both of you deserve to have friends worth fighting for.