(Closed) My MOH wants me to uninvite a guest she hates

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovlea1:Um, sorry but if this person is a friend to you (which obviously they are since they got an invite to your small, intimate wedding) then your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to suck it up and deal with it for a day. That’s what grown ups do. And just because said guest snubbed your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean they’ve done anything to you or that you shouldn’t be their friend because of it.

Wow. Tell Maid/Matron of Honor it’s your day and to be there for you and your Fiance. Tell her to be the bigger person.

Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Uh, whos day does she think it is? She has no right deciding who is worthy of your friendship as well. She will get over it, and if she is a true friend she will not let her issues get in the way of your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovlea1:Seriously she needs to chill. Immediately. And by “she” I mean your Maid/Matron of Honor. You shouldn’t break a friendship with someone else because of a snub your MOH got from her. And Maid/Matron of Honor shouldn’t be asking you to take sides if she really is a real friend.

@MaiFuture:I couldn’t agree more.

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is time for you to stand up for yourself. Approach your Maid/Matron of Honor and tell her that you love her but that you don’t appreciate being put through the wringer. You understand her feelings about the snubber, but it ends there: HER feelings and while you care about her feelings, she is NOT to impose upon you and your day. Ask her to please be the bigger person, be cordial at the wedding toward the snubber should they interact and that is that. If she cannot agree to be an adult about it and no longer burden you with this nonsense, she doesn’t deserve to remain your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Edit: Your Maid/Matron of Honor will either a) be annoyed and complain all over again, at which point you turn on your heels and go. You don’t need to take that kind of treatment from anyone. or b) disagree, but at least respect you for who you are and kindly keep her trap shut about the situation from here on out. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Mrs.tobe: and I couldnt agree more with you! Jeez, totally out of bounds, this Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 12
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lovlea1: I’d tell these two that you expect them both to be respectful and cause no drama at your wedding. Tell them that their issues are not yours, and you won’t be in the middle of this anymore when you’re planning the best day of your life. Them refusing to talk to one another is not supposed to be your issue, and sometimes you just have to buck up and tell them to grow up or shut up, at least for that one day. It’s not much to ask, they should do it for their friend!

Post # 14
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh, yes it does. It guarantees it especially if there is a consequence. Make that part of the agreement with her that she no longer burden you with this nonsense, *especially* leading up to and including the day of the wedding. This is a condition which she must agree to in order to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. If she cannot, or she loses it on the day of the wedding, she will promptly be asked to leave (and you can assign someone to take care of that deed for you should it come to it.) If she can’t be lady enough to hold it together for a few hours, she will be out of your wedding and certainly lose your friendship, and hopefully you will discover this about her sooner rather than later, not at the wedding itself. So talk with her now while the issue is current. Say you slept on it and this is what you’ve decided, period. You’ve been kind to consider HER feelings, now it is time for HER to consider YOUR feelings. If any of YOUR feelings means anything to her, she’ll keep her trap shut and smile.

Post # 16
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I understand it is difficult for you to face her, but you need to tell her there must be ZERO b.s. about this from here on out. Done done done. Don’t let her get a word in about “but let me tell you about how much I hate this person… .” No. You’ve heard it all and now SHE needs to listen to YOU for once, yes? Stand up to her. She doesn’t “have” to tell you about anything regarding this issue anymore. Do not let her. It isn’t a life and death situation here. Please. Remind her she has bigger and better things to be concerned about and change. the. subject. Get the picture? 🙂

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