(Closed) My MOH went is off on her vacation

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Mom? Another friend? I didn’t realize a Maid/Matron of Honor was obligated to attend any of the pre-wedding meetings? I haven’t asked mine to come to anything except to see my dress if she wanted to, which she did. But to meet the caterers? Hair trial? Makeup trial? I think these are things you can go to on your own.

It sucks because I’m sure it would have been fun for her to be there but she isn’t your personal assistant for the duration of wedding planning. Let her enjoy her vacation guilt free. If she is there for rehearsal and the wedding then you’re all set in my opinion.

Post # 4
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

That is a bummer and it sounds as though she’s not being very considerate of you.  But you’ll have to make the best of it.  Is there a family member you can take with you instead?

Post # 5
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Do you have a sister, sil or mom or mil you can take? It certainly sucks, but hopefully someone can help out. If not, the ladies here arevalways ready to give advice and opinions on trials, catering, etc.

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

A MoH is not required to go to your hair trial or catering appointments, but regardless from the snide way you call her “Miss Congeniality” it doesn’t much sound like you like her at all.

Post # 7
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yet another “Omg she’s not putting her whole life on hold for me” posts. You would surely have checked if she was going on holiday BEFORE you asked her to step in as moh. It is the summer right now and this is when a lot of people go on holiday. 

Post # 8
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

My Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t come to any of my planning appointments, nor did I ask her or expect her too!

My hair trial and make-up trial I went alone, as it only affects me and for the caterers I went with Darling Husband.

I think you are over-reacting a bit! Did she know you expected her to go to these things?

Post # 9
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I don’t understand this. Yes, it is nice if she is able to attend some pre-wedding things, but it is not required. Would you really expect someone to skip vacation so they can go taste some chicken cordon bleu with you? It doesn’t sound as though you are very close with her since you didn’t even know she had a vacation planned.

Her only real requirement is to show up clean and neat wearing the appropriate dress. Beyond that, you can’t expect anything.

Post # 10
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I understand what you mean as my Maid/Matron of Honor will be traveling for two weeks prior to my wedding and then extending the trip to vist her bfs family.So shewill be getting back about a week before my wedding.

One of my biggest concerns is that she wont be there for me when i really want her (whether i need her is an entirely different story).  The important thing is to remind yourself that you have a support system outside your Maid/Matron of Honor.  If  you want someone to go with you, i’m sure you could find some one (friend, coworker) to go with you for moral support

Good luck!

Post # 11
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ya i wouldn’t expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to attend any of those. I would probably be there with my mom or Fiance for the taste testing.  But thats it. 

Post # 12
14657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry, I dont understand the problem.  I went to my make up trail, hair trial, dress fitting, everything by myself except for the cake and dinner tasting.

Post # 13
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor was my best friend, and lives a full day’s drive away. She arrived in town the Friday before my Sunday wedding, so that she could join us for the Girls’ Night Out, and the Saturday events as well, before the wedding. I did not expect anything more. 

Of course, were she to live closer, I would have loved for her to have joined me for pre-wedding appointments, and I’m sure she’d have cheerfully gone to anything that was convenient for her. But that wasn’t possible, and I just went to things alone or with my fiance or with other friends. 

The whole thing of the Maid/Matron of Honor being there for every second of the bride’s pre-wedding planning is just not real. It’s a pretty recent social construction, actually. It’s not their wedding. It’s ours. We’re the ones obligated to go to the appointments we set up, not them.

Post # 14
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I didn’t realize the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to go to any of those types of appointments.  My Maid/Matron of Honor was my sister and she didn’t even do any of that stuff with me.  Why would someone need to sit around and watch you get your hair done?

Post # 15
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly don’t know why you would need your Moh to go to your makeup trail and hair appointments? As for the catering take your Fi it’s his wedding he should be there before anyone. She has a right to go vacation. It’s not her wedding and not her job to be doing these things. You could have asked her to come along, and like other pp mention if you really want someome to go with you you can ask other friends and your mom. Although I truly don’t see why they would be need at those appointments.

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