Post # 1
I must be one of the most unlucky brides, when it comes to Maid/Matron of Honor.
I choose my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, she was happy and honored to have that position, but as luck would have it she had to back out on May 28, due to family emergencies. Gosh I miss her.
Now to my second choice, Miss Congeniality, we are total opposite. She turns her nose up at every one of my plans, but I let it ride.
My wedding is less than 25 days away and this morning I discovered, Miss Congeniality if off on two weeks’ vacation.
I wish she had told me earlier so I would not have gone ahead and make so many plans around “her” busy schedule. Might I point out she is aware of all the appointments
My hair trial, makeup, final meeting with caterers, etc etc
I know I don’t have to worry about going on my own to the caterers, because I have one the most supportive and understanding Fiance, but I can’t very well take him to the others.
WHAT TO DO! What to do?
Post # 3
Mom? Another friend? I didn’t realize a Maid/Matron of Honor was obligated to attend any of the pre-wedding meetings? I haven’t asked mine to come to anything except to see my dress if she wanted to, which she did. But to meet the caterers? Hair trial? Makeup trial? I think these are things you can go to on your own.
It sucks because I’m sure it would have been fun for her to be there but she isn’t your personal assistant for the duration of wedding planning. Let her enjoy her vacation guilt free. If she is there for rehearsal and the wedding then you’re all set in my opinion.
Post # 4
That is a bummer and it sounds as though she’s not being very considerate of you. But you’ll have to make the best of it. Is there a family member you can take with you instead?
Post # 5
Do you have a sister, sil or mom or mil you can take? It certainly sucks, but hopefully someone can help out. If not, the ladies here arevalways ready to give advice and opinions on trials, catering, etc.
Post # 6
A MoH is not required to go to your hair trial or catering appointments, but regardless from the snide way you call her “Miss Congeniality” it doesn’t much sound like you like her at all.
Post # 7
Yet another “Omg she’s not putting her whole life on hold for me” posts. You would surely have checked if she was going on holiday BEFORE you asked her to step in as moh. It is the summer right now and this is when a lot of people go on holiday.
Post # 8
My Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t come to any of my planning appointments, nor did I ask her or expect her too!
My hair trial and make-up trial I went alone, as it only affects me and for the caterers I went with Darling Husband.
I think you are over-reacting a bit! Did she know you expected her to go to these things?
Post # 9
I don’t understand this. Yes, it is nice if she is able to attend some pre-wedding things, but it is not required. Would you really expect someone to skip vacation so they can go taste some chicken cordon bleu with you? It doesn’t sound as though you are very close with her since you didn’t even know she had a vacation planned.
Her only real requirement is to show up clean and neat wearing the appropriate dress. Beyond that, you can’t expect anything.
Post # 10
I understand what you mean as my Maid/Matron of Honor will be traveling for two weeks prior to my wedding and then extending the trip to vist her bfs family.So shewill be getting back about a week before my wedding.
One of my biggest concerns is that she wont be there for me when i really want her (whether i need her is an entirely different story). The important thing is to remind yourself that you have a support system outside your Maid/Matron of Honor. If you want someone to go with you, i’m sure you could find some one (friend, coworker) to go with you for moral support
Post # 11
Ya i wouldn’t expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to attend any of those. I would probably be there with my mom or Fiance for the taste testing. But thats it.
Post # 12
Sorry, I dont understand the problem. I went to my make up trail, hair trial, dress fitting, everything by myself except for the cake and dinner tasting.
Post # 13
My Maid/Matron of Honor was my best friend, and lives a full day’s drive away. She arrived in town the Friday before my Sunday wedding, so that she could join us for the Girls’ Night Out, and the Saturday events as well, before the wedding. I did not expect anything more.
Of course, were she to live closer, I would have loved for her to have joined me for pre-wedding appointments, and I’m sure she’d have cheerfully gone to anything that was convenient for her. But that wasn’t possible, and I just went to things alone or with my fiance or with other friends.
The whole thing of the Maid/Matron of Honor being there for every second of the bride’s pre-wedding planning is just not real. It’s a pretty recent social construction, actually. It’s not their wedding. It’s ours. We’re the ones obligated to go to the appointments we set up, not them.
Post # 14
I didn’t realize the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to go to any of those types of appointments. My Maid/Matron of Honor was my sister and she didn’t even do any of that stuff with me. Why would someone need to sit around and watch you get your hair done?
Post # 15
Honestly don’t know why you would need your Moh to go to your makeup trail and hair appointments? As for the catering take your Fi it’s his wedding he should be there before anyone. She has a right to go vacation. It’s not her wedding and not her job to be doing these things. You could have asked her to come along, and like other pp mention if you really want someome to go with you you can ask other friends and your mom. Although I truly don’t see why they would be need at those appointments.
Post # 16
Ladies, please don’t get me wrong. My whole entire wedding is a DIY and I am loving every stressful moment of it, apart from the criticism and unsolicited advice
I did not ask her to be any part of the planning she volunteered. She had me reset my already scheduled appoints to match her time. “Because she had to be there”
She was quite upset with me when i did my first dress fitting without her, and kindly pointed out that “Oh ash don’t you know that it is the Maid/Matron of Honor duty to be present at all these fittings, etc”. Her words not mine
Ron, my Fiance and friend for 19 years would have gladly gone to Make up trial dress fitting etc. I value his opinion more than any thing in this world. My first MOh lives in Florida so we only communicated via phone. So it was a given that all the planning was done by me with the support of my Fiance.