Post # 1
I need some advice! My wedding is about 8 hours away from where my parents live. My mom is insisting that she bring her little dog for the four days she plans on coming out.
Couple of issues:
Our hotel where we blocked rooms does not allow pets. So if my parents don’t stay at the hotel, neither will ALL of my mom’s side (eight rooms total). If we don’t get these rooms in our block, there is a good chance we will have to pay the hotel if we don’t meet the minimum.
Also, my mom has quite the obsession with this dog (obsession is an understatement). She is going through the ‘change’ and has been somewhat depressed. And even though her last child left the house 6 years ago and she has 2 grandkids 5 mins away, she’s still suffering from the empty nest. This chihuahua has helped her with this and I understand she needs to have the dog, but her obsession is a little much. I have my own dog and understand the love for one’s pet–hers is just over the top. SO the weekend of my wedding, she WILL be distracted about getting back to take care of the dog.
As a DIY bride, I have a lot planned and am going to need a lot of help from her the weekend of the wedding. I also am living across the country from where the wedding is, so that makes things more complicated (and stressful) as well. I would like 100% of my mom there-not my distracted mom worrying her dog. (I can’t stress enough of the weird obsession with the dog. She likes every single second with her). We also need the family to fill in our hotel block.
Any advice? My mom was so upset when I asked her to leave the dog at home with my sister’s nanny in which the dog knows (that was a worry for my mother). Even after my dad and I explained why the dog should be left at home, she still won’t speak to me after three weeks. My mom and I are not super close, but we’re close enough and this is starting to really stress me out. Do I cave and just let her bring her precious dog? Or hope she will understand that both the dog and her will survivie being apart for four days?
Post # 3
Did you explain to her the financial ramifications of them not staying in the hotel? Or have her speak with her family and have them still stay at the hotel? I think there is middle ground here that isn’t being explored.
Post # 4
I’d say make sure the dog stays at home. You don’t want to have to pay extra for those hotel rooms, and mom should be concentrating on her daughter’s wedding anyway. Having the dog there with her will just be distracting. Maybe make sure the nanny checks in daily with updates on the dog so your mom won’t worry so much?
Or perhaps your mom could bring the dog but board it at a daycare facility near the hotel. Then the dog will at least be nearby, which may ease her mind a bit.
Post # 5
I would just let her bring the dog because it sounds like she is going to be a mess if she doesn’t. If she is super anxious, she is not going to be very helpful for you. I’m thinking since it’s a small dog it won’t be too much in the way?
ETA: Though I wasn’t really thinking about what the dog will do during official wedding events… Obviously I don’t think she should be bringing the dog with her to your wedding! Is that what she wants to do?
In exchange for her bringing the dog though, I would say she needs to ensure that her side of the family still stays at your hotel (are there any other hotels close by where she could stay w/the dog?). Do you have a contract with the hotel? It should state for sure whether you are financially responsible for non-booked rooms.
Post # 6
It is her dog, yes. I understand that she loves it. Heck, I might have a little bit of an obsession with my own fur babies.
But you are her DAUGHTER. This is going to happen ONE time in your life, and if this dog is really going to be as big a distraction as you say, you should NOT have to compete with a pet for your own mother’s attention on your wedding day.
You’ll regret it, and chances are a few years down the road, she will too.
It’s good that you have your dad in your corner, though. Is there any way you could talk to him and ask him to deal with your mom (if they’ve been married for x years, by now he probably knows how to talk to her about this stuff better than you do) so that you can not be involved? That might help dissipate some of the animosity that’s flaring up between you two.
Post # 7
Emotional support animals are much different to people than normal pets. If your other is depressed, they see this animal as the only way they can “face” the world. Try to be a bit understanding with her, and understand it isn’t a completely selfish act.
Think of it this way. If she leaves the dog, she will be distracted by the thought it is not with her and possibly emotionally unstable as a result. If she brings it, she might be distracted by having to care for it during the trip.
The one thing I don’t understand, is why her not staying at the hotel has any bearing on the rest of the family. If she can’t stay at the hotel, it is the family that is following her lead that you should explain the financial situation to.
Post # 8
Does your area have one of those “pet spas” that the dog could stay at? I know they’re getting popular in my area, where instead of a kennel, it’s designed more like luxury accomodations for the pet. Maybe look into that, if the cost is not an issue and suggest the dog should get a nice holiday out of it too?