(Closed) My mom and I -hurt.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

She’s looking for someone, anyone to reassure that she will not be forgotten.

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

how young though are you?

 

Post # 7
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LovinChrist18:  Are you getting married and moving away? Or just out of the house? I’m sure shes having empty nest syndrome, which is normal, but that might be worse if you’re moving away to another state when you get married.

Post # 8
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My mom would’ve either laughed at me or had a psychotic meltdown or both in that order if I told her I was going to marry when I was 17. The fact that you say your mom is mostly supportive means you’re a lucky girl.

I think she is nervous about having an empty nest, and also nervous for her youngest daughter to marry being so young and probably inexperienced. I’m not talking down to you, but this is definitely why your mom is making these remarks that hurt you. That AND, your impending marriage aside, you are in the stage of your life where these types of struggles with parents will naturally occur, since you’re just forging your way into adulthood. It would most likely be tense with your mom even removing the engagement from the equation.

I wish I could give more advice, but I don’t know much about your situation. I almost got married at 18 right out of high school – I had been with my then-boyfriend since I just turned 14 and thought we would be together forever. He was the only person I had been with up to that point. Long story short, marrying him at that age would have been the biggest mistake EVER. I never would’ve met my husband, the man I am married to now. There are so many things I never would’ve gotten to experience. I would suggest you to wait on the marriage because you CAN. I’m not saying you don’t love your Fiance or that it won’t work between you two. Maybe a good question to ask before I say anything more would be “Why are you getting married so young?”.

Post # 10
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just want to stop and note that most of your posts are in the “emotional” section. I just worry that maybe you aren’t ready for a wedding and marriage. It isn’t an insult to you or your Fiance. And I am trying to be gentle. But a wedding and an engagement should be a joyus occasion. And if you’re finding yourself in the depressed and upset category more than you are the happy side… well, it might be the right guy but the wrong time. 

I dont think you’ve answered this in any of your posts before, but why are you getting married so early? Why couldn’t you and your Fiance wait a couple more years till both of you are established? 

Post # 12
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t really have any advice. I know my parents had much more trouble with me going to college 12 hours away than they did with my brothers who went an hour or two away. Part of me wants to question why you are getting married now, but I’m sure people ask you that enough already (I know I hear it and I’m 21). As long as you are sure this is the best timing, that should be enough. It is good to hear your mom is being supportive, I know most would not be, purely because you are 17. I would try to cut her some slack, because it sounds like she is doing the best she can.

Post # 13
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LovinChrist18:  there are many reasons why people marry. I don’t consider it self explanatory. Why other than “we love each other” are you getting married? 

Post # 15
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LovinChrist18:  Ok. I was just concerned. I dont like seeing any emotional posts pop up! But I just remember answering a couple of your posts a day or two ago and got a bit worried. 

As for your age, you are going to be constantly questioned about it. Like I said in another post (maybe not for you), but my best friend got married at 16, had her first kid that year, and is now 24 with 5 kids. She will often visit me and talk about how she missed out on things like going away to college, having a better nursing position (that took more school work), traveling, buying a better house, living alone, moving to a city, etc. She’s still happily in love, but I know she regrets marrying so young. Sorry to project that on to your situation… I just always think about that when I hear someone is marrying young. 

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